It's not that we don't love it when you call us at 5 p.m. on weekdays to ask us what we're doing for lunch. We've endured, and even enjoyed, your tales of spending the day at the library, embracing jury duty, and really getting to know your cat on a deeper level. Though we do take your threats of living in your car seriously, the time has come to tell you something you need to hear: Your poverty is not cute anymore. When you first started draining your 401K, it seemed almost madcap and devil-may-care. But you were in your early 30s. Now that you're mid-middle-aged, your slacker lifestyle is just embarrassing. And yes, we're a little worried that you might become a burden on us. We suggest you set your alarm — we'll loan you ours if you've sold yours — for the Los Angeles Career Fair.

Mon., Feb. 7, 11 a.m.-2 p.m., 2011

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