Don't let your horse's thick, gleaming beast coat fool you: Dude can still get skin cancer. Freaky, right? One would think, with all those teeny hairs and years of evolution from prehistoric odd-toed ungulates and general indestructibleness, such would not be the case for a horse.

But alas — even the blackest stallion's at risk for some good-old-fashioned melanoma.

The good news: There's a product for that!

Costa Mesa company Lewis Circle, very much concerned about your horse's overexposure to the sun's harmful rays, has developed a “premium equine skincare line” in such horse-friendly scents as coconut, grass and citronella (added perk: also works as bug spray).

The presser is dead serious about this stuff:

Founder Rebecca Lewis formulated this skincare line to prevent sun damage and maintain the health and beauty of your horse year-round. While the foremost area to protect is the face, the serum should also be applied to the body — particularly in light-haired breeds such as Appaloos's, Lipizzans, Paints, Pintos, Andalusians, and Grays.

The sales pitch continues on the company's website, where each bottle of facial sun block runs for a scene-stealing $12:

Pamper your horse with a blend of exceptional ingredients to hydrate, soothe and protect the delicate face of your horse. Provides protection against the sun damaging rays and provides the quality that you are looking for in the show ring. Rejuvenates the skin of your horse and protects against moisture loss. The crisp grass scent will be enjoyed by you and your horse will thank you for the extra care and attention.

Or, uh, he'll kick your ass to the other side if the stable for rubbing grass-flavored goop all over his face when all he wants is a jawful of the real thing.

Next thing you know, cancerous showhorses will be getting L.A.'s trendy new Eastern cancer treatments, like acupuncture and deep-tissue massage. But who are we to judge? Order online today!


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