CAT RUN There’s this woman named Cat (Paz Vega), see, and she’s on the run. She’s running from “the boss,” “the enforcer,” “the exploiter,” “the seeker” and other generic heavies introduced with increasingly meaningless titles as they enter the fray of this hyperprocessed pulp caper. After comely call girl Cat witnesses her friend’s murder at the hands of a U.S. senator (Christopher McDonald) at a high-end Montenegro sex party, she makes a bolt for the border. On the way, she steals a car from Anthony (Scott Mechlowicz) and a cellphone from his buddy, Julian (Alphonso McAuley), two American drifters who will be talking into their sleeves before the end of the movie. Anthony and Julian decide to start a Bored to Death–style gumshoe outfit and join the A-Team of assassins pursuing the hooker who got away. Director John Stockwell (Turistas) uses split screens, a blaxploitation soundtrack and hammy, Get Smart sound effects to put some old-school spring in Cat Run’s step. It makes for an odd combination with the film’s ecstatic, viscera-laden violence. Janet McTeer, at least, delights as MI6’s cruelly capable answer to Mary Poppins. She’s a whiz at testicular vivisection, yet she still cannot save this film. (Michelle Orange) (Citywide)

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.