Have you heard the news? There's a drought in California!
Of course you've heard, because it's the only news that matters right now. That's why your friend who hasn't read a newspaper since high school somehow knows how many gallons of water it takes grow one almond, or how many pounds of alfalfa we've shipped to China in the time it took you to read those last six words, or why Jerry Brown's water conservation plan lets farmers/rich people/Obama's favorite golf course off way too easy.
The California drought story has become a journalistic genre unto its own, having become almost as prevalent as the “here's a southeast city you've never heard of that's unbelievably corrupt” story.
Are we all going to die? Yes. If the thirst doesn't get us, the fire will, or the smoke, or the economic catastrophe, or some newfangled dust bowl. But in the meantime, you can enjoy reading about our ecological apocalypse with the help of this handy dandy bingo card (inspired, in part, by the fine folks at Curbed).
Rules of the game: any story scoring five in a row wins.