Before you go whining to Gloria Allred or UNICEF, turn to this picture one more time and gaze at its pornographic hubris and cavalier disdain for restraint. Then, remember that this is no cruel nightmare of nature but an invention of Man. Or at least the men over at HolyTaco.com, a site given to whimsical collisions of libido, food and poor judgment. Here we find the lads' latest creation, “The Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built,” an edifice erected in time for the Super Bowl that turns the food pyramid into a Stonehenge of cholesterol and calories.
The recipe's early imperatives (“One pound of guacamole, 15 Vienna Sausages”) are enough to send the more reasonable sports fans running to the hills. “Don't try this at home?” No, by all means, go ahead. Food is destiny.