It’s L.A. There’s a juice joint, an acupuncturist and a yoga studio on every corner. Everything’s organic, everyone’s eating right for their blood type and optimal health’s yours for the taking. Here — just a few steps beyond the standard Reiki and Reishi regimes — are some of L.A.’s best stops on the road to wellness.
Best Detox: iZO Cleanze
Fasting is the most efficient way to detox; without the hassle of chewing, digesting and assimilating, your body has all that extra energy available to heal itself. For detoxing in custom, couture-crafted, home-delivered style: The iZO Cleanze is the only way to starve. A handy travel-size cooler full of fresh juices, Chinese herbal tonics and a sampling of raw, vegan optimal-health elixirs is delivered to your door every morning by 6 a.m. No chopping, no blending, no pouring, no thinking — open your door, drink your juice, transform your body, mind and spirit.
iZO Force Energy Products, 287-B S. Robertson Blvd., Beverly Hills, (310) 963-5332 or www.izocleanze.com.
Best Card Knowledge: Tarot Study Group
To heal the infinite wellspring that is your subconscious, head to Pacific Nexus Gallery/Temple of Thelema’s Tarot Study Group, a bimonthly gathering in Venice. Led by the temple’s bigwig Zeph Bender, the study group focuses on one of the Major Arcana (suits) of the Aleister Crowley–designed Thoth deck every other week, meditating on and deconstructing the cards’ imagery, symbols, geometry, colors and archetypes to reawaken the deepest depths of our otherwise technology- and civilization-ravaged psyches. Supergeeky, extra freaky fun.
Best Crystal Consultant: Nicole Hoegl
If heady Hermetic occult orders aren’t your thing, or even if they are, there’s plenty of guidance to be found in the mineral world. Need protection from negative energy? Looking for clarity? Love? Abundance? Let personal crystal consultant Nicole Hoegl match you up with your perfect rock. Through meditation, an affinity with the mineral clusters and intuitive guidance, Hoegl homes in on exactly what you need — “uniting you with your crystal allies” — when you need it. And she does it with a dazzling smile and a gentle spirit.
(310) 254-7374 or www.lovelightandstones.com.
Best Color Therapy: Healing Waters
After a harrowing shamanic ceremony in which I pulled handful after handful of dark, gooey matter out of my heart, I was suddenly in dire, desperate need of emerald green. Jennifer at Healing Waters helped me to find the perfect shade, in the perfect medium. From brightly hued color-therapy oils you apply to the body to ingestable tinctures that hold the vibration of the color you’re craving, this tiny West Hollywood shop has every shade of your rainbow covered.
136 N. Orlando Ave., West Hollywood, (323) 651-4656.
Best Feel-Good Accessories: Evolution Jewels
Sacred geometry may be the new black, but how does the discerning metaphysical enthusiast integrate all those angles and dimensions and ratios into her daily life? Evolution Jewels provides high-end, gender-neutral jewelry designed according to sacred geometric principles. The beautiful gold, silver and platinum pieces vibe high and shine bright, guiding the well-accessorized wearer through transition and transformation, offering protection and support, infusing love and harmony, and … and …
(310) 216-7665 or www.evolutionjewels.com.
Best Energy Center Tune-Up: Charisse Landise
Sometimes superfoods and shiatsu just aren’t enough to balance you. Charisse Landise can tune up your energy centers with one of her mind-blowing chakra readings. OH MY GOD. Not only is Charisse supremely tapped in and clairvoyant up the yin-yang, but she also boasts ultrarefined translation skills, retrieving information about your innermost you from the outermost cosmos. She grounds that information into the here and now, tweaking what needs to be tweaked to bring you back into alignment, all while soothing your soul and tickling your spirit. The results are palpable, immediate and delightfully mysterious.
(323) 377-4017 or www.charisselandise.com.
Best Face Regeneration in a Jar: Ascended Health’s I Am Beautiful Oil
Now that you’ve tended to your inner landscape, give a little love to your complexion. Ascended Health’s I Am Beautiful facial-regeneration oil is the best all-natural face care product I’ve found. Oxygenated oils are infused with marine phytoplankton and healing herbs and imprinted with Lemurian quartz crystals. Yes, I’m serious. The potion is then bottled in the black glass and labeled with sacred geometry and positive intention (it’s called I Am Beautiful, remember?). The oil has saved me after anxiety-ridden nights spent picking at burrowing subcutaneous varmints, rendering my complexion flawless and radiant by sunrise. It has also immediately calmed a second-degree burn, soothing the pain and healing the blisters in less than an hour.
(310) 683-0333 or www.ascendedhealth.com.