Best Monsters in the Tar Pits

Someone told me that there is now a pool at the La Brea Tar Pits, but I wouldn’t go swimming there. Look what happened to that big elephant and that funky tiger with the long teeth near the entrance. I stare up at those amazingly tall dinosaur bones until my neck goes stiff. It really puts my little life into perspective and makes even a hardened, jaded old prick like me appreciate our short time here on this rock hurtling through space.

Those wacky dinos didn’t have it too damn bad for a couple of million years before they eventually melted into the earth (only to be reincarnated as an Exxon station). The museum’s movie theater runs an animated depiction of what life may have been like during prehistoric times. Aside from the occasional maiming by a Tyrannosaurus rex, life appears to have been pretty tranquil. And we’re talkin’ right here in the heart of L.A., just a few feet away from where drivers blast through red lights while yakking on cell phones and gorging on sushi. Yep, one of the best spots in L.A. is the Pits. Just don’t go near the water.

La Brea Tar Pits 5801 Wilshire Blvd., L.A., (323) 934-7243

LA Weekly