An RV park along the California coast may seem a bit of an odd place to recharge our passion batteries, but with a 50 percent discount coupon at Ocean Mesa Campground, 15 minutes north of Santa Barbara, Calif., at our disposal, a quick overnight seemed like just the ticket for our weary, over-committed love life.

So, with fellow parents willing to take our 11-year-old for a sleepover, we jumped into our 1985 27-footer and hit Highway 1 at 2 p.m. just in time to beat the traffic out of L.A. and provide us with a mellow, meandering drive 120 miles along the coast under cloudy (but rain-free) skies. Along for the ride were a few of our favorite toys, a nice dinner (easily heated pot roast with mashed potatoes), and a bottle of champagne. Our plan was to do some hiking, eat early, hit the park's hot tub, and find as many ways to get nasty as possible.

What we hadn't counted on was an almost completely deserted destination, with only one other vehicle occupying a space some distance away. Suddenly, our plan to have sex confined to our RV's rather worn mattress took on a whole range of possibilities; indeed, when we headed into the campground's quite spacious Jacuzzi, it was just us, our cocktails, and a sky full of stars. Let the groping begin!

From there, we sauntered into an empty shower facility to continue our sexcapades, finally running out of energy after a third explosive orgasm on the roof of our RV (while watching the Amtrak Surfliner shoot by, no less). We finished the evening with the more than decent Sandra Bullock flick, “The Proposal,” before mustering up the energy for a last fling amidst the more traditional environment of our cozy RV.

The next morning, following a hearty breakfast at the neighboring – and much pricier – El Capitan Canyon Resort, we hit the road back at 11 a.m., arriving in plenty of time to meet our son as his school ended at 1:30 p.m., and believe it or not we had enough energy from there to schlep 45 minutes to Orange County for a late afternoon skate session at the Vans skate park.

What this story hopefully illustrates is that for those of you in a similar situation to our own (long term relationship, kids, house etc.), there are times when it's not just a luxury to get away and screw like teenagers, but necessary. At times, we all put intimacy on hold to focus on priorities we deem vital to keeping our lives maintained; and that's certainly OK. However, when you lose sexual vitality, it can be awkward if not downright difficult to reignite your passions (with weeks or months going by before anything changes, if at all). So please, take those couple of days off, find someone to take the kid(s), and force the issue!

: The Sexual Herbal, by Brigitte Mars, A.H.G. lays out everything you need to know about sexual supplements from Viagra to so-called “natural” enhancers and everything in between. The book even addresses and suggests remedies for both men's and women's sexual issues, including PMS, menopause, urinary tract infections, erectile dysfunction, STD's, and prostate disorders. We also enjoyed the additional sections covering Taoist and Tantric exercises, aromatherapy, bath concoctions, nutrition, positions and many other helpful tidbits to improve our overall intimacy.

The Sqweel ($59.95), from Love Honey, is a rotating set of silicone tongues, which lap at the clitoris to produce orgasmic sensations. We loved its innovative design and the device worked as advertised (indeed, it took less than 30 seconds to climax). The Sqweel also comes apart easily for cleaning and proved three AAA batteries can really get the job done.

This Ain't Gilligan's Island XXX” from Hustler.

Finally, we hope you've noticed the cool new look under which our column now appears here in the Weekly. After Dark will grow into your go-to source for all things sexual as it's rolled out over the remainder of the year. Anne Hodder, formerly XBIZ, brings her extensive knowledge of sexuality trends, issues and industry insider news to guide us into intimate territories pertinent to our uniquely SoCal attitudes. Check back often and watch us grow – it promises to be exciting!

Freddy and Eddy, aka Ian and Alicia Denchasy, are a SoCal couple residing in Mar Vista who've run a couples-oriented sexual health website since 2001.


Image: Simon Howden.

LA Weekly