Not to keep giving some racist chick from UCLA way more attention than she deserves — and we know how bad she wants it! — but we've recently been made aware of the best YouTube response yet to Alexandra Wallace's viral “Asians in the Library” upload. (That said, we solemnly swear that this will be our last Wallace mention. Unless she makes a porn, or gives birth to an Asian, or something.)

OK. DavidSoComedy's video response was pretty good, but Big Tex's raging-bull address to “Miss UCLA” is a hot multicultural mess of a finger-wagging — a perfect finale to the absurdity of the whole situation. Behold the madness:

Whoa there.

“Some of my best — favorite people in the world are Asian!” Tex yells (very loudly). “Like Bruce Lee was Asian! … Lisa Lee is Asian! Margaret Cho is Asian! Mr. Miyagi is Asian!”

He then gives Wallace a tsunami-sized telling off: “Don't mess with Asian people! Leave 'em alone! RIGHT NOW! Don't let me hear you talkin' about no A-SIAN PEO-PLE!”

This is so much worse than a death threat. Although we do get the feeling, around 1:55, that the ranter may be at least partially kidding, as he appears to be fighting back a grin brought about by his own hilarity, “Unforgivable”-style. (We don't blame him.) And while he's at it, Tex squeezes in a diss on 50 Cent — who infamously TweetedLook this is very serious people I had to evacuate all my hoe's from LA, Hawaii and Japan. I had to do it. Lol” directly following the tsunami — and gives the world a politically correct lesson on the outdated term “oriental,” somehow managing to out-diva the library diva herself in the process.

Thanks, man. You just made our Friday. And that's saying something.


Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.