Not being a regular diner at Pink's Hot Dogs, I only recently learned that there is an item on the menu called Trump fries. This dish, a basket of French fries topped with just about everything in the Pink's kitchen — chili, cheese, crema, onions, chopped peperoncini — is announced on a banner hung front and center at Pink's mobile operations.
I have no chill, so when I spotted this at the L.A. County Fair, I asked the woman running the booth why they have a dish named after Donald Trump. A guy standing nearby waiting for his order leaned in, looking like a Michael Jackson–eating-popcorn gif.
“Well,” the woman said, and for a moment I thought she was going to say something about patriotism or that the owners had donated to Trump's campaign or something. But then I remembered that I am a blond white woman, and my ilk is currently understood to be the least trustworthy of all homo sapiens. So I added, “I mean, it's weird, right?”
She smiled back at me and said that the item was added to the menu years ago, back when Trump was just some windbag, a guy who seemed kind of funny. Putting his name on the “loaded” fries seemed a good fit: he's full of it, the fries are full of it.
She told me that these days the employees just refer to them as loaded fries, generally dropping the name. But she was very diplomatic about it, managing not to disparage anybody while talking to me.
So, crisis averted. Ordering these fries is actually kind of nostalgic — you remember the good old days when president and reality show host were two totally different jobs. And you can pair the fries with the Rosie O'Donnell Long Island dog and maintain socio-culinary equilibrium.
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