Sometimes there are things that are out of your control. What the office orders for lunch, say, or what you're forced to watch when you're at Uncle Bob's house, trying to fulfill your New Year's resolution to Visit the Relatives More. If your Uncle Bob, like a startling large number of men, platonically loves, admires, and wants to be the carefully manufactured “reality” celebrity that is Guy Fieri and thus subjects you to a Fieri fest, don't abandon your resolve just yet. No, grab a bottle of Jack Daniels that your uncle must have stashed somewhere, give the car keys to your dear, sweet, sober aunt, and join in on Chow's nifty little Guy Fieri Drinking Game.
The game nails Fieri's non-threatening rebellious persona pretty well. You take a single shot, for example, every time the Food Network star says “bad boy” or “hit,” as in “Hit it with your sauce, pile on your coleslaw, then hit it with your sauce again!” Describing something as “money” deserves a double. And a full shot is required every time Fieri says “crustification,” or any time the TV in his living room in Guy's Big Bite changes programs, from, say, drag racing to bears feeding on raw salmon (we're pretty sure there's some subliminal messaging at work here, though we're not sure, exactly, what that message is).
The game works for both Guy's Big Bite and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, but we also discovered that the game also can be played if you follow Fieri on Twitter. In fact, we would add the following Twitter-specific rules: a single for every time something is either “killer” or “kewl.” A double for every time he actually spells out words ending in “ing” (i.e., no shots for “Gearin' up for some dirt bikin' with Hunter this week” but a double for “Hope everyone is having a great Christmas!”). And a full shot each time Fieri tweets a picture of himself with a “monster”-sized object.
We can't guarantee that the game will make you like your Uncle Bob's television habits any more than you already don't. Only that you'll have a considerably more fun than if you hadn't turned it all into a game. Sweatbands optional.