Jon StojanIn Her Secret Shame, Secret Thrower blends the boundaries of reality and fiction, leveraging the power of creative storytelling to convey a powerful message and share her story. On the surface, the book revolves around a food truck owner stuck in an enigmatic maze as she solves one murder mystery after another. Intertwined with that storyline is a bleak plot centered around domestic violence and abuse.
Secret Thrower, author of ‘Her Secret Shame’
For Secret, that book is both a culmination of and an homage to her lifelong experiences, and her unique way of raising awareness about the issues that stain the safety of the Oklahoma-Texas-Arkansas tri-state area. A native Arkansan who has spent five years living in both Texas and Oklahoma, Secret has felt the violent nature of all states first-hand. Now she resides in Tulsa, where one of her abusers, a man who had been turning her life into hell for four years, also lives.
To illustrate the ongoing abuse, Secret alludes to a seemingly innocent situation that the authorities have, unfortunately, neglected, “I would often find messages written in the dirt of my car. One day, I read, Have a blue-tiful day. To everyone else, it seemed lovely. What they didn’t realize is that my abuser was part of a gang called ‘blue,’ and this was a clear threat.” Especially living in a state ranked second in the US for women killed by men, this and many other encounters alike cannot be ignored.
Despite the feelings of hopelessness and fear, Secret persevered, making it her mission to raise awareness, expose the truth behind abusers, and destigmatize domestic violence and abuse victim shame. At first, she would record and film every interaction with her abusers, collecting necessary evidence. Her Secret Shame fuels Secret’s mission, amplifying her voice through the power of words.
The book also reflects Secret’s dedication and passion, symbolizing the moment she let go of limitations and shame and decided to follow her lifelong dream of becoming an author. “My goal has always been to write for children,” she shares. “But life had different plans, leading me to this path.” Though Her Secret Shame delves into the darkest parts of humanity, its overarching message is evocative of a children’s book’s essence—it’s all about empowerment.
Secret, a mother of six dedicated to educating and helping others, describes herself as a nurturer by nature. This innate urge to care for others is what inspired her to remain committed throughout the process, even during the most challenging and emotionally draining moments. “Of course it’s difficult. Writing Her Secret Shame feels like holding a mirror in front of myself and bearing my soul,” she confides. “Sometimes, all I can think of is, How did I lose myself and allow this to happen? And then I remember that it’s just the shame talking. Victims feel it so often, and it’s time to change that.”
Secret, launching Her Secret Shame in 2025, hopes for the official release to happen in October, in honor of the worldwide domestic abuse awareness month. Showcasing her insatiable desire to improve communities, Secret will donate part of the profits to domestic violence foundations, abuse intervention organizations, and other institutions and people who make a difference.
“All I want is for people to talk, raise awareness, and shatter the harmful taboos that propel victim shame,” Secret shares, contemplating the mission behind Her Secret Shame. “It’s a lot easier to hide in the corner and dwell in shame. But it’s time to change that. No more shame, no more silence, and no more lies. It’s time to step into the light and turn the world into a better place.”