Roses are red, violets are blue, no one hates Valentine’s Day more than…you? It turns out you’re not alone. Who really likes Valentine’s Day anyway? All of the restaurants profiting from extremely expensive prix-fixe menus? Florists and chocolatiers? Probably. It’s kind of a pressure-filled day for everyone, but if you are single, it especially sucks. Singles Awareness Day (with the unfortunate acronym of “S.A.D.”), as many of the unhitched like to call it, is just an unpleasant reminder of their solitary status.
This year, however, there is no need to stay home by yourself editing your Tinder profile. Because plenty of LA establishments are eager to get you out on Valentine’s Day with various anti-Valentine’s gatherings where you can rip up pictures of your ex, drown your sorrows and share your horrible break-up stories with other lonely hearts. And if that isn’t a recipe for finding love, what is?
8. Rush Street
The Culver City spot encourages singles to come out in groups on February 13, the night before Valentine’s Day. Parties of six will receive complimentary bottles of champagne. If all goes as planned, maybe you won’t be single by Valentine’s Day. 9546 Washington Blvd., Culver City; (310) 837-9546, rushstreetculvercity.com.
7. Birds Cafe and Bar
Birds considers their party the original, as this year marks the 20th anniversary of the Hollywood staple's anti-Valentine’s Day fete. Anyone who is not in love is welcome to come eat and drink on February 14. The space will be decorated with un-romantic decor and drink specials will be poured. Rumor has it that voo-doo dolls will be stuck with pins and lit on fire, naturally. And anyone needing to blow off some steam can take a swing at the male and female piñatas meant to symbolize ex boyfriends and girlfriends. 5925 Franklin Ave, Hollywood; (323) 465-0175, birdshollywood.com.
6. Tiki No
If you're in need of a reason to smile this Valentine's Day, just check out the kitschy North Hollywood bar's “Tiki No Woman No Cry” party from 5 p.m. until 2 a.m. As part of a week-long celebration of Bob Marley’s birthday, Tiki No welcomes all the single ladies on Valentine’s Day for a Sadie Hawkins-style girl’s night out. Enjoy appropriately named cocktails like “My Bloody Valentine” made with Sky Blood Orange Vodka and the “Gnarley Marley” a coconut rum and pineapple treat, along with a chocolate fountain and strawberries, Grilled Cheese Truck nibbles, and live ukulele cover songs from James Peterson. Tiki No reminds all single ladies, don’t shed no tear. 4657 Lankershim Boulevard, North Hollywood; (818) 766-0116, tikinobar.com.
5. Bacari PDR’s
Bacari PDR's awesomely long happy hour from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. is the place to go if you are single and live in Playa del Rey. The anti-Valentine's Day for singles theme has inspired $8 speciality cocktails like the “Love Me Tinder” made with a spicy infused vodka, grapefruit and lime juice, dry curacao, fallernum liqueur, and cranberry and lime bitters. All small plates (excluding seasonal menu items) will be $6. Guests can also drown their sorrows in a $20 open bar all-nighter, which includes 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink red, white and sparkling wine, sangria, and house beer. Sounds like an Uber kind of night. 6805 South Vista Del Mar Lane, Playa del Rey; (310) 439-2100, bacaripdr.com.
The New Orleans style bar in Hollywood will help you self-medicate your loneliness during their Shred Your Ex event on Valentine’s Day. If you bring in a picture of your ex and tear it apart in front of the bartender, you’ll receive the perfect solution to a single Valentine’s Day — a complimentary shot. Bottoms up. 6541 Hollywood Blvd. #102; Los Angeles; (323) 960-0224, five0four.com.
3. Angel City Brewery
The circus is coming to town, or at least to Angel City Brewery on Sunday, February 15th from noon to 9 p.m. The downtown LA Brewery will be celebrating (or anti-celebrating) Valentine’s Day with “The Broken Hearts Circus” party. Circus-style entertainment and curiosities are sure to mend a broken heart. Enjoy circus-themed food from Market Burgers, Pizza & Co. and Love Swirls Desserts while surrounded by entertainment like a ring master act, a roaming stilt walker, a bouncing juggler, acrobats, face-painting and dancing clowns. Distract your single self by posing in costume in a vintage photo booth and dance to live music performances from Super Tall Paul, The Steaz, and Eva B. Ross Foundation. Admission to the event is free. 216 South Alameda Street, Los Angeles; (213) 622-1261, angelcitybrewery.com.
2. Plan Check Kitchen and Bar
Plan Check Kitchen and Bar will be offering anti-Valentine’s Day specials for singles unconcerned with their post-dinner breath. If you’re not going to make out with anyone afterwards why not chow down on a their special 5 Onion Burger with roasted onion spread, pickled onion, onion sprouts and schmaltz onion? Multiple locations, plancheck.com.
1. Tom Bergin's
The historic Irish pub is pulling out all of the stops to celebrate Singles Awareness Day. Their S.A.D. party on Saturday, February 14 from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. will help even the most bitter singles shake off their Valentine’s Day angst — literally. Shake it off to the tunes of a DJ from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. Get drunk on speciality cocktails like “The Bitter Old-Fashioned” and “Fireball Shots” (meant to be purchased and served to anyone at the bar who ‘lights your fire’) for only $5. Share your worst date story for a chance to win a stay at Hotel Wilshire. Assuming you’ll eventually have someone to go with, that’s a pretty nice prize. Singles will find it most therapeutic to throw photos and letters from their ex into the pub’s fireplace and watch them burn. And ex’s unwanted clothing items are welcomed to be to donated to Goodwill. It’s about time you got rid of that box of tear-inducing junk. 840 South Fairfax Ave.; (323) 936-7151, tombergins.com.
Heather Platt is a freelance writer and blogger. Follow her blog Three More Big Bites. Want more Squid Ink? Follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook.