Everybody's looking for work right now and, according to L.A.'s Craigslist, there's a lot of work to be done. Perusing job hunters will find the usual “party girl” openings ($250/hour, “must be liberal but race is open”), surrogacy ads offering up to 35 grand for allowing a strange couple to rent your womb for 9 months (that's like New York rent prices!), and recruitment ads for the National Guard.

We culled through positions for scientists interested in studying poop, an old lady looking for someone to fix her scooter, casting agents ready to expose babies to the world market, and the oddest fetishes we never knew existed to deliver to you 5 particularly odd jobs being offered on Craigslist in L.A. right now.

5. “Foot Models needed for Live Events

“Must Have Own Transportation, May Include Some Stomping” ($150/3 hours)

Sounds like a good workout!

4. Lice Removal Technician (25/hour)

“Squeamish people need not apply. A good sense of humor is a plus! Must attend unpaid training to use LouseBuster™”

Lice feed on blood, lay around a hundred eggs in their four week life spans, and may excrete dark red feces onto the skin of their host. Hilarious!

3. “Experimental Contraceptive Gel Study

“For Monogamous Couples Only” (up to $700 in cash and gift cards)

Any couple so desperate for cash they're browsing Craigslist should not risk pregnancy for 'up to 700 bucks'. Let's hope one of those gift cards is for a free abortion!

Credit: Dernier Exile

Credit: Dernier Exile

1. “Fake Girlfriend, $300 for 3-hour family holiday event + photo shoot”

Young professional seeks attractive, well-spoken woman to accompany him to his family's holiday dinner. I work too much to date and can't stand the nagging from relatives wondering why I haven't found that special lady.”

The gig requires two meetings — the first is a fake date to take a bunch of photos in various locations on the young pro's iPhone so he can show off his *love* at the dinner. Too sad to joke about but this is excellent romcom fodder.

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