The 4th of July is, as you well know, one of the drunkest holidays across the land. America!
But it's hard to celebrate United States' independence when you're locked up with a bunch of losers. And since this is the land of democracy, the LAPD is giving you a fighting chance to remain a person of free will.
They're actually telling you where they'll be, searching for drunk drivers, this holiday weekend. As you also know, the festivities will start today. And so will the DUI crackdown:
-Today from 4 p.m. to midnight the LAPD will have extra patrol cars and motorcycles on the streets of its Hollywood Division area. Cops will be looking for drunks behind the wheel.
-Tonight from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. an LAPD DUI checkpoint will be waiting for you on Vermont Avenue at Fifth Street in Koreatown.
-Saturday from 6 p.m. to midnight the LAPD will be operating a checkpoint at Western Avenue and Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. in South L.A.
-Saturday from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. a checkpoint will await your arrival on Hollywood Boulevard at Argyle Avenue in the heart of Hollywood clubland.
-Tonight from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. downtown will not be immune to this crackdown: A checkpoint will be operating on Figueroa Street at Ninth Street near Staples Center.
-Tonight from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. the checkpoint show comes to Laurel Canyon Boulevard and Oxnard Street in lovely North Hollywood (it's so nice this time of year).
-Sunday 4 p.m. to midnight extra police will be on the streets of the LAPD's Central Division, which is mainly the downtown area, to look for boozers behind the wheel.
-Sunday 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. there will be extra cops on the streets of the department's Mission Area in the Valley (map) for what the LAPD calls a “saturation patrol.”
From 6 p.m. today through 11:59 p.m. tomorrow the AAA of Southern California is offering free “tipsy tow” rides to people who are inebriated and need to get themselves and their cars home. You get seven miles on the AAA, but if you live farther away than that it will cost you. Info: 1-800-400-4AAA.
Be proud. Be independent. Be safe.