Welcome to Broad Beach! No, not really. These homeowners have long waged the most organized and notorious keep-off efforts on the Malibu coast. For several decades, they posted “No Trespassing” signs that claimed the high tide line to be much farther out than it could possibly be, and hired security guards on summer weekends to patrol the beach on ATVs and enforce the signs.

The Coastal Commission ordered the removal last year of the guards and signs. So to greet this summer’s beach season, the Broad Beachers dug up tons of sand out of the public tideland and used it to extend the private 8-foot-high dune in front of their houses about 25 feet closer to the ocean — which has narrowed the tideland so that the public can no longer walk on the beach at all at mid-to-high tide. Then they posted new “Please Respect Private Property” signs atop the dune they built by destroying public property.

We suggest that if Malibu residents wish to use the public beach illegally as a private Riviera, then their “No Trespassing” signs can at least be more accurate and/or creative. Herewith our 28 alternatives. Any residents who wish to purchase these signs are welcome to contact us directly. Discounts are available for bulk orders.

To see the image at full size, click on the picture.
Illustration by Jonathan Nazareth Zabala

LA Weekly