Guess what? HBO dominated the Emmys again.
Another way the Emmys are predictable: the nominees' reactions.
Or at least how they convey their reactions. We don't really know people's real reactions — we know what they tell journalists about how they reacted. Maybe Steve Carell got the phone call from his agent this morning, said, “Oh,” and then returned to his coffee and muffin. I don't really know if Steve Carell is nominated. I haven't seen the nominees yet. I'm just assuming. Or, more likely, Carell went, “Oh crap, the journalists are going to start calling.” Tina Fey probably did that too. I don't know if she's a nominee either. But I'd probably bet about two months' salary on it.
With that, here are ten standard ways in which people convey to journalists how they reacted after being nominated for Emmys — or any awards show, for that matter:
10. The boring party line:
From the Hollywood Reporter: Josh Charles, nominated for supporting actor for The Good Wife: “It feels really flattering. I'm touched by it…I can't decide if the actual process of being nominated means as much to me as today or the outpouring of emails and texts from my fellow actor friends who have reached out and sent their regards. I'm feeling good.”
9. The charming “when the phone call came” story that conveys a “stars are just like us”-style slice of life
From the AP: Matt LeBlanc, nominated for lead actor in a comedy series for Episodes: “My mother's in town. The phone started ringing at 5:30, and she came upstairs in her pajamas. She thought it was like an earthquake or something.” —
8. The embarrassment about being chosen instead of your co-stars
From the Hollywood Reporter: Betty White, on being nominated for Hot in Cleveland: “I'm the representative of three other wonderful gals on Hot in Cleveland. We're like The Golden Girls; I think the only reason they chose me is because they could spell my name.”
7. The strained attempt at an explanation
From the AP: Bruce Dern, nominated for his guest-starring role in Big Love: “I'm a really deep sports-orientated person, so to me it's always been about scoreboard, and I scored a lot of runs late in the game to get a nomination.”
6. The “but what will I wear?” neuroses
From the Hollywood Reporter: Jim Parsons, nominated for lead actor in a comedy series for The Big Bang Theory: “The only thing that crossed my mind is that I have to find a tux. I immediately went to the one anxiety point that I could as a person who doesn't like clothes shopping.”
5. The comedic non-answer
From the AP: Amy Poehler, nominated for lead actress in a comedy series for Parks and Recreation: “I hope we decide who gets the Emmy by a series of high-pressure penalty kicks, just like the World Cup.”
4. The (perhaps feigned) confusion about what these award things even are
From the Hollywood Reporter: Steve Buscemi, nominated for lead actor in a drama, for Boardwalk Empire: “I have to say I don't follow this [Emmy] stuff that closely but I'm certainly thrilled to be a part of it.”
3. The meta-reaction about reactions
From the AP: Connie Britton, nominated for lead actress in a drama series for Friday Night Lights: “When you're coming up as an actor, you always hear the stories of the early morning phone call and being awakened out of bed, so believe me, getting awakened with that phone call, it's pretty much something that you aspire to.” —
2. The “it's also my birthday” (seriously, I've seen this before)
Jane Lynch, tweeting about her nomination for Glee: “'Glee,' Chris (Colfer) and me! Emmy noms. My birthday today as well. Imploding a bit here in Atlanta!”
1. The countering of the perception that diminishing returns have set in
From the Hollywood Reporter: Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men: “It feels amazing. I hate to say it — more amazing in a weird way in the 4th season of the show…”