There are essentially four reasons why people don't like clubbing: 1) douchebags 2) over-priced drinks 3) shitty music 4) douchebags. Ok, there's also parking and traffic but that's sort of douche-driven too (obnoxious guys — and gals — either steal your space, try to hit on you while “cruising” or own the lots that gouge you). We cannot guarantee you won't encounter a few big D's (which can also stand for Dicks, Ditzes with D-cups, Drama queens and generally Despicable humans) at these events, but the odds are very low thanks to promoters who make it more about the music, the performers and the atmosphere and less about making a dime off guys looking to get some — or the giggly/jiggly girls who attract them.
Here, we present our top 10 clubs/parties for people who don't like club/parties. One note: Go with a good attitude and an open mind, people! If you hit the club expecting to hate, that will likely be your fate. When it comes to nightlife, sometimes you get what you give.
10. Wig Out!
Jean Spinosa's monthly hullabaloo at Three Clubs offers themed stage shows always incorporating wigs, and always wacky fun. You will be entertained, guaranteed, but this isn't just a show. The gathering always has the best music on the decks (eclectic mixes feature everything from new wave to disco to doo-wop), and the creative crowd knows how to cut a rug whether they're wearing one or not. They've got a “Puppet Party” this Thursday. 1123 Vine St., Hlywd.
9. Billy's Thursday Night Fish Fry
La Luz De Jesus art openings are always a hoot, espcially when they feature live music. Since the gallery/kitschy gift shop/bookstore knows how to throw a party, they decided to throw one regularly, a “community social,” as they call it, and it's been going swimmingly. Plus, you can pick up prezzies while you're there. Now all they need is fish. 4633 Hollywood Blvd., Los Feliz. facebook.com/billysthursdaynightfishfry
8. Tuesdays at Sayers Club
Yes, Sayers Club is owned by luxury hotel and restaurant company SBE; yes, celebs have been known for frequent; and no, the drinks ain't cheap. But they are really, really delicious, and, sometimes, you do get what you pay for. Actually, the entertainment here — live music jams from up and comers and insanely talented studio musicians — is often priceless. See more in next week's Best Of LA issue. 1645 Wilcox Ave., Hlywd. facebook.com/TheSayersClub
7. Motown on Mondays
It's no coincidence this list features music with a soulful flair. Soul music, especially old soul music, tends to attract soulful people. At Motown On Monday's L.A. party (it started in San Fran), the room is roused by DJs (residents Expo, Sloe Poke, DJ Jedi, Phatrick plus guests) spinning infectious remixes and funky old classics, enjoyable whether you're up for grinding or lounging. While the Short Stop can be hit or miss on many nights, everybody seems to be in good mood on Monday … which is notable in itself. Free. 1455 Sunset Blvd., Echo Park. facebook.com/events/200209193445200/
6. Goody Tu Shoes
The concept for this party is a good, alright: tribute bands play your favorite tunes, and dancing to similar sounds goes down afterward. The gathering, currently at Los Globos, gets giddy. The crowd is usually very cool, but not too cool to sing-a-long like maniacs to The Stones, ZZ Top and Blondie wannabes. 3040 W. Sunset Blvd., Silver Lake. facebook.com/pages/Goodie-Tu-Shoes
5. Blue Mondays
Sometimes the crowd at this '80s music club can be young (like weren't-even-born-in-the-'80s young), but it's pretty clear they love music from the era: Many take to the floor and don't stop 'til last call. Whatever your age, say yes to this dance party if you dig Depeche, The Cure, Culture Club. etc. Even if you don't dance, watching both inside Boardner's gothy main room or its breezy patio makes for a thriller, killer night. 1652 N. Cherokee Ave., Hlywd. facebook.com/BlueMondaysPage
4. Pour Vous
The guys behind La Descarga and Harvard and Stone definitely know how to create upscale atmosphere while retaining a chill crowd. Their latest, Pour Vous (formerly Forty Deuce, and for old timers like yours truly, Smalls KO) has it. Great sounds, clever cocktail creations and a vintage vibe that includes dancers inside old fashioned bird cages, all in a part of town that's relatively relaxed. 5574 Melrose Ave., Hlywd. facebook.com/pages/Pour-Vous/250851001662804?ref=ts
3. Punky Reggae Party
This is a club anybody could have a good time at. Well, anybody who likes reggae or punk and post-punk music, that is. DJs Michael Stock, Boss Harmony and Roy Corduroy got skillz, and the soundtrack here will move you whether you're into slamming or jamming. Yes, it can get crowded and hot at this Friday fete, but that's what La Cita's awesome patio is for. That and drinking (there's a full bar outside as well as in). facebook.com/punky.reggae.56
Drum and bass lovers have been going to this lively Thursday night D&B love-in for more than a decade … and counting. Lively atmosphere, deft DJs and The Dragonfly's friendly staff, plus a spacious outdoor smoking patio when things get too sweaty inside, make for rhythmic night that deserves, yes, respect. 6510 Santa Monica Blvd., Hlywd. respectdrumandbass.com
1. Funky Sole at the Echo
What's not to like about this long-running soul dance party? Easy Eastside locale (unless, of course you live on the Westside… or you still refuse to call The Echo an Eastside venue); cute crowd there to dance, not pose or prance; and raw soul and funk, spun by some of the best vinyl DJs in town: Music Man Miles (Rootdown/Breakestra), Clifton aka DJ Soft Touch (Sonic, Underground, Transistor) and Clinton Cameron. As Marvin Gaye would say, we “gotta give it up” to Funky Sole. These guys have been doin their thang and doin' it well for 11 years and counting, which is why they hold down Echo Park's best-known club on Saturday nights — and why you should go. 1822 W. Sunset Blvd., Echo Park. facebook.com/groups/13170825224