“The aroma of pungent garlic coming from this restaurant caught my attention recently. My first sign of trouble here, however, came when asking for a to go menu last week. The girl working the counter was anything but friendly when handing one over and answering questions. Today, we arrived at the restaurant at 11AM and were kept waiting until the same rude young lady showed up. I joked that she was late, she insisted they were not (cook was opening gate), and asked us to wait a few more minutes for them to set up. No apology, no explanation. I wish I could tell you whether the food here is good or not, but we did not even get that far. My advice to the owners is to hire new staff immediately.”

Stop Yelping. We're going to put it on a t-shirt. We advise the reviewer quoted above to also stop eating out. Because some early bird making feeble jokes about her perceived tardiness is exactly what “the girl working the counter” at a tiny, family-owned joint should have to hear as she begins her 12-hour workday. A classic example of….

5. The Yelper who expects a red carpet.

Read on for four more annoying Yelpers.

4. The Yelper who sees a fly near the table and frets that a cold, shivering, diarrhetic death awaits–or gets sick and publicly blames the last Southeast Asian restaurant where she ate. Behold:

“On my 3rd visit, I got DYSENTERY from the [noodle soup] and had to go to the emergency room.[The hospital] took a stool sample and diagnosed the bacterial infection as dysentery, which comes from unclean foods. . .As this was my only meal that day before feeling sick, and one other reviewer had EXACT same symptoms (bloody stool, severe stomach pain), I am positive it came from this restaurant. Never going back again and I'm scarred from ever having southeast Asian food.”

3. The Yelper who sneers and forgets how to spell when a few tacos aren't cheaper than a six-pack of Pabst. For example:

“this taco hole has violated the code of Mexican food. i don't care if JESUS CHRIST is taking my order, and CEASER CHAVEZ is making my damn taco. i have not ever and am never going to pay more than 2.50 for a taco, that is just out of bounds man. it is akin to going to american eagle outfitters to buy “THRIFT STORE-ESK” clothes. no i eat Mexican food cause it is good and cheap and accessible.”

2. The vegetarian Yelper who visits a cheesesteak shop and flips out when his seitan gets cooked on a stretch of grill-estate previously used for sizzling folds of the real thing. As much as we, as a formerly vegetarian, know what it's like to want to keep tabs on such things, one prays, not demands, for wholly untainted wheat gluten from a place like this:

“And really, please don't think for a minute that you serve vegetarians. They eat there, so they eat meat. you serve people who want to eat meat alternatives. There are a fair amount of people who wouldn't think to ask for whatever reason, but would be bummed if they knew. You serve Kobe beef, good for you, really. But I didn't come in for that, and this is not a review. It's just a statement that your menu is wrong. Fix it or not. If you do, I may try your stuff, I tried to today, remember?”

1. The Yelper who slams a Thai restaurant because its dishes contain onions. Seriously, the absolute worst:

“Some of their stuff here is okay but they are really annoying with the onions. They put onions in everything! Once I ordered something that didn't list onions in the ingredients and guess what… it came with onions! Now I love onions but too much is just too much.”

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