There's a lot going on in the world as the year steams towards a close. In North Korea, Kim-Jong-Il is dead. In Pakistan, military leaders and government officials are wrestling for power. U.S. troops have finally left Iraq. There's also a butter shortage in Norway, the world's third-richest country, a nation with a population nearly half the size of Los Angeles's. You may have heard about it on The Colbert Report.
In the mind of one Norwegian YouTube pundit, the smirking reactions swirling around the so-called “crisis” — whether Colbert's warnings about butter “mules” smuggling sticks into the back alleys of Oslo or the finger-wagging in Matthew Yglesias's business column for Slate — loom large enough to warrant a 4.5-minute tirade.
Identified as Tommy, a “singer, celebrity, and famous blogger,” the star of this video comes off like a very young, very fabulous Andy Rooney-gone-clubbin'. He also gets very personal — calling Americans overweight, getting misty-eyed over the Christmas cakes that will go unbaked and sputtering inexplicably about Americans' “sweet potatoes… sour cream… and stockings.”
He even threatens home invasion. “I will come to your house,” says Tommy. “I will go to your refrigerator. I will take your butter out… I will eat the butter in front of you and your family's eyes. I will force you to watch me eat all of your butter… You will beg and cry… and I will say, 'Ha ha not my problem.'”
Still, as funny and possibly fake as this video is, the melt-down of comments spouting homophobic slurs and mocking Tommy's command of English (which, while rudimentary, beats the hell out of our Norwegian) makes us sympathize with the guy — his country's bad economic sense notwithstanding. Tommy, what's your address? We're swaddling a few kilos of unsalted Straus in newspaper, stuffing them into coffee cans and shipping them your way.