Hey kids, hugging leads to kissing, then to groping and in the end — sex. Right?

That's the formula Cliffwood, N.J., Principal Tyler Blackmore is suggesting by banning all 900 children of Matawan-Aberdeen Middle School from hugging each other. To protect them, of course.

Superintendent David Healy of the Matawan-Aberdeen Regional School District backs up Blackmore's decision with this statement.

“In an effort to address some incident of unsuitable, physical interactions between students, Mr. Blackmore made an announcement to his students that they were in a 'no hugging school.'”

Students will not be suspended for hugging, but they're totally buggin' out now that they won't be able to show some love to their friends.

A student with straight long blonde hair, surrounded by a couple of schoolmates, expressed her frustration to a local NBC reporter saying, “It makes our school look bad and it makes our school look like we do more than hug, but we do not.”

Many parents of the middle schoolers are upset and raising concerns, telling the reporter, “You can't suppress your emotions,” and, “We hope that maybe they'll change their policy.”

Will this “ban” actually stop children from hugging? I mean just because we weren't allowed to hang out unattended behind the football bleachers didn't mean we never did it!

But Superintendent Healy doesn't think any of this funny and takes the matter seriously:

“Is it unfortunate that there are those who find purpose and humor in sensationalizing such a routine school related issue at the expense and inconvenience of our children and our school community.”

Hey Mr. Healy, honestly, I'd be more worried about tweens who are going lisztomanic about Justin Bieber and the fantasies they're having about him during study hall.

LA Weekly