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Robbie Conal

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Karl Rove has made a career out of slinging “Bushit” (as it is pronounced in Tex-ass). In fact, Dubya’s nickname for him is “Turd Blossom.” No surprise, then, that Rove leaked a sloppy SBD* all over Joseph Wilson by outing Wilson’s wife, covert CIA officer Valerie Plame. This was payback......

Armor Dildo

Donald Rumsfeld suffers from a psychosomatic condition we’ll call “erectile dys-truc-tion.” He can’t get it up without whipping out his battery-operated toys and deploying the National Guard to do his dirty work. And just like a guy after blowing his wad, he falls asleep and forgets everything that got him......

State Hood

Condoleezza Rice was handpicked in 1989 by Brent Scowcroft to serve on King George I’s National Security Council. In 2000 she accused President Bill Clinton of "an extraordinary neglect of the fiduciary responsibilities of the commander in chief." She couldn’t have meant the national debt, because there was none. Her......
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Nanny Dearest

Click + - to zoom in/out. Click and drag mouse to move image. Karen Hughes, Dubya’s communications director, has FAITH — in her God, his Son and her “Boss.” She believes that Dubya “won one of the closest elections in America’s history” just to fight terrorism by leading his people......
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Capitain Hook

Click + - to zoom in/out. Click and drag mouse to move image. PULPit BY ROBBIE CONAL Special thanks to Alison Johns for info and Chris “Chuckles” Donham for cheesy Photoshop effects. JACK VALENTI, president of the Motion Picture Association of America since 1966, is so paranoid about piracy, he’s......
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Black Hawk Down

Click + - to zoom in/out. Click and drag mouse to move image. >November was the bloodiest month for U.S. and allied forces since we attacked Iraq in March: 111 total dead, 79 U.S. troops. Since the beginning of the war, 438 soldiers have died. We’re just beginning to count......
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Pillow Talk

CHECK OUT ROBBIE’S NEW BOOK AT WWW.ROBBIECONAL.COM.THANKS TO SEYMOUR HERSH'S ARTICLE "ANNALS OF NATIONAL SECURITY, SELECTIVE INTELLIGENCE," THE NEW YORKER, MAY 12, 2003......
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I’ll Leave You Alona If Your Name’s Not Ariel Sharona.

Ariel Sharon, Prime Minister of Israel, has had plenty of practice fighting terror with terror: In '53, his special commandos blew up 45 houses, killing 69 Arab villagers in Kibya -- then a part of Jordan. In '77 he "established" Jewish settlements in occupied territories. In '82 he permitted the......
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Martha Stewart: Lying

Insider trading is as American as apple pie — served at an A-list cocktail party in the Hamptons. So Martha Stewart called Peter Bacanovic (her broker and best young friend) from her cell phone on her private jet to sell her 3,928 shares of ImClone a day before the FDA......
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