Brennan Foley

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L.A. Halloween Primer: A Glossary of Slutty Costumes

Halloween weekend is here, and for the nightlife set, that's good news. If you're a guy, you can dress up like a complete fool and get away with it. You can also wear a mask, which allows you to do - and say - pretty much anything you want to......
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The Slump Buster and My Tribute to Joe DiMaggio

A lot of things come in streaks when you're a guy. Your favorite football team runs off three straight wins before losing two in a row. One week you make it to the gym four times and the next you don't go at all. Sometimes you get lucky and you're......
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Diary of an L.A. Douche: How to Pick Up a Porn Star

A friend and I were discussing making a list. A list meant to inform the world of the elements, accoutrements and accessories necessary in order to pick up a porn star and bring her to your home/backseat/utility closet. We thought it would be our way of giving something back to......
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Fat Chicks Try Harder: Diary of an L.A. Douche

I've had this exchange more than once: "You get laid last night?" "I did." "What did she look like?" "She had a great personality." This statement can be applied to any woman who isn't all that great looking, but it's always applied to big girls in my book. The girls......
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The Anatomy of a Sociopath With a Drinking Problem

Listen broad, there is obviously something wrong with you if you don't respond to my charms. I mean, look at this. What's your problem? Are you blind? I don't see a walking stick in your hand or a guide dog in the vicinity and I certainly am not blind. Are......
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The Key to Healthy Relationships is Booze. Lots of Booze

It occurred to me the other day that I haven't had sex with a woman when not drunk, high or some combination of the two in some time. What brought this to my attention was Sondra. She's Brazilian, beautiful and has one of those accents that just make you think......
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How to Pull Off a Threesome Without Scars and She-drama

The fantasy goes something like this.You meet a hot girl at a bar who happens to have a hot friend. You somehow convince them to return to your place and group sex breaks out. Well, in reality, it usually isn't that easy. At least, not since the 80s when everyone......
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My Open (and Closed) Relationship

I got an interesting call last night. Most interesting perhaps in that a woman told me she didn't want to see me anymore, which hasn't happened very often in the annals of history. I imagine most people would have been feeling an emotion like hurt, disappointment or anger. I was......