Music nerds know that a special occasion isn't really special until you've created a custom-targeted mix to accompany it, and if ever there were an occasion momentous enough to merit the creation of a mix, the coming of the lord is certainly it. If you're about to face the Rapture, for Christ's sake, have appropriate music ready.
Weddings, Bat Mitzvahs, Tuesdays — they all have specific musical requirements that would be irresponsible to overlook, and greeting humanity's last possible day for eternal salvation without a well-thought-out playlist on hand just one more sin you don't want to have on your record.
Of course, creating a perfect mix can often take multiple days — which is something you no longer have. Chances are, you've been too too busy making plans for last-minute repentance or last-minute partying. So click on this link for an all-purpose Grooveshark playlist that should have something for everyone. When you're ready to party, play the first half. When you're ready to atone, skip ahead to the second half.
A few featured selections:
Skeeter Davis, “End Of The World”
Best Line: “I wake up in the morning and I wonder why everything's the same as it was. I can't understand how life goes on the way it does.”
This maudlin ode to the egocentric world of teenage heartbreak — “Why does my heart go on bleeding? Why do these eyes of mine cry?” — doubles nicely as a theme song for Harold Camping's followers to sing come May 22.
NOFX, “No Fun In Fundamentalism”
Best Line: “There's no fun being covered in black clothes in the desert, unless your goth and into that.”
There's a time and a place for smart/smart-ass punk, and it's called college. NOFX states the obvious, and it's got a good beat that you can dance to.
Best line: “To all those those people doing lines, don't do it, don't do it.”
The Cranberries channel Grandmaster Flash in this song's opening line, and the overall message is, even if tomorrow is your last day on earth, don't give in to the temptation to party — salvation is so close!
Metallica, “The Four Horsemen”
Best line: “Killing scores with demon swords, now is the death of doers of wrong.”
Metalheads have an unabashed fascination with the biblical end times, and it was tough to narrow down the numerous Revelations-relevant choices, but when the clock is ticking, you go with Lars.
Sonic Youth, “Do You Believe In Rapture?”
Best line: “Can I drink your drunken mercy? Wine burns the devil's home.”
This moody, contemplative tune hardly has any feedback or distortion, which makes you wonder if Thurston is trying to atone for something.
Nirvana, “The End”
Best line: “All I want is to have some hash browns.”
Layering Cobain atop Morrison, a double dose of self-destruction, seems apropos given the occasion, and Nirvana's unfaithful cover of the hyper-bleak Doors tune is mercifully saved from wrist-slashing misery by an lengthy monologue on Waffle House.
Siouxie And The Banshees, “The Rapture”
Best line: “The Rapture a swirling violet stream, mystic majestic entangled in a web of curling vapour thread.”
Nobody does doom better than Siouxie, and this song, which clocks in at over eleven minutes, is a good time killer while you're waiting for your ride.
Zero 7, “Waiting To Die”
Best line: “It's just a day, like any other day.”
The bible revealed only the date, but not the time, of Jesus return, which makes this song a good knife twister to blast over the fence at fundamentalist neighbors who will likely be spending the morning, afternoon, and evening of May 21 on pins and needles.
Full Grooveshark playlist.