We suspect that if Darth Vader were around to see the way his name has been shamelessly used to sell coffee to Empire drones, he'd Force choke the lovable nerds at ThinkGeek as quickly as he brought Admiral Motti to heel. But, like Jesus, a lot of things have been done in Vader's name he probably wouldn't be thrilled about. (Yes, the two are exactly alike — except one of them has George Lucas for a daddy.)

“Hand roasted by Stormtroopers,” (they can accomplish that in their clunky white uniforms?) this whole-bean blend from Africa and Indonesia is, naturally, a dark roast — as black as Darth Vader's soul yet as weak as Hayden Christensen's acting.

We didn't expect a fair-trade coffee, not when there are thousands of enslaved Amanin feverishly toiling in the coffee plantations of Maridun. Still, at $14.99 for a 12-ounce bag, we prefer a soul-searingly strong cup of Bitches Brew from Groundworks.

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