There are only a few things sexier than skinny jeans these days, save boy-cut panties and deep-V tees. You just can’t keep this fab version of a posterior tourniquet down. Target and H&M both deal them, and it’s a given that Midwestern Hot Topic addicts flaunt them. Fortunately, in L.A., we have a couple of the best contemporary pimps of the Jim Kerr (Simple Minds) look in the country. The gods of great jeans have sent Andra McDevett and Sean Hornbak down from denim heaven to preside over Denim Revival, the go-to spot for vintage new wave from the waist down.

No matter how fashionably handicapped your jeans are, Hornbak (just picture Dally Winston reborn as a talented seamster) and his on-site team of tailors can ensure that your new purchase is perfectly painted on you, or breathe life back into your favorite old standbys. “We have tailors here from 9 to 5 during the week, and it only takes us between three days and two weeks to finish a job, depending on whether you have a simple pegging or you need a more involved repair,” says McDevett. But the variety of eras, colors and cuts Hornbak and McDevett have compiled keeps customers traveling from all over the country for more. And they have pedigree vintage denims and cords to choose from that rival any pseudomemorable Rodeo Drive adornment.

For the fall, Hornbak has been tapering an abundance of rich worn-gray and yacht-rocking white 501s for both women and men. There are few, if any, designer brands these days that can hold a candle (or a cowboy boot) to the velvety patina of these jeans, especially for the boys. And you don’t need to don your spelunking gear to find the right pair; save it for the picked-over stashes at other local vintage mongers. I tried on about five pairs when I visited, and I fell in love with each one. There just isn’t anything like a great pair of old jeans; they actually have personalities, and their sordid pasts are as romantic as your grandmother’s wedding ring. Revival’s prices are reasonable as well, even for the most sought-after Levis. The treasured indigo-dyed “single-stitch” blues of yesteryear will set you back only about $200, and the custom pipe 501s, which may be a nonsurgical alternative to a vasectomy, are a steal at around $75.

Denim Revival also offers up a smorgasbord of ’70s hip-huggers fit to satisfy the bell-bottomed meanderings of any good Arthur magazine–reading stoner. And if you need the perfect reincarnation of your dad’s frazzled fat-buckle belt to tie it all together, there are hundreds to choose from. The store also stocks cherry biker jackets and an impressive plethora of vintage rock tees for reasonable coin (between $50 and $100).

But for this season, pair up Denim Revival’s pipes with the careless hipster look-away vibe or the Sunset Strip fox-on-the-run head turner — and here’s to the best of L.A. success for you. At least aesthetically.

8044 W. Third St., L.A., (323) 852-0171.

LA Weekly