I'd like to think that I'm way more popular in real life than I am on Myspace. I've only got like 50 friends, but that's probably because I only say yes to requests from peeps who truly are friends. Call me a weirdo.
Anyway, the pals I do have, happen to have thousands of friends and way too much time on their hands. This means I get a lot of funny reposts, surveys and misc fodder from people stuck at their computers all day, some of which are truly hysterical, some thought-provoking, some just an amusing waste of time.
One of my '06 resolutions is to share more, so in a new feature I'll call my “MySpace Taste of the Week” I'll be giving you a little repost of my faves….Disclaimer: These are the opinions (and grammar/spellings) of random Myspacers, most of whom I dont know… I probably only agree with about a third of the list. What about you?
What bands do you despise?Everyone has a band that they hate, that everyone else seems to think are fucking awesome. Who's yours? Copy and Re-Post.———————————————————————————1. Tom: I hate The Damned and their fake vampire clown horseshit.
2. Stuart: I hate The Velvet Underground. Can't exactly say why, other than the fact that their music makes my skin crawl.
3. Andrew: Fucking Van Halen! The only thing worth a damn in that steaming pile of shit is Michael Anthony. Those background harmonies fucking kill! Not to mention the Jack Daniels signature model bass!
4. Jennifer: Interpol. I can't stand them. And for some reason, everyone thinks I'm crazy. WTF? Thier lyrics are so bad that they are distracting– and I am not one of those people that really pays attention to lyrics– that's how distracting they are.
5. Hardy: The Talking Heads. I mean, they're just…no. Fucking no. I don't know of one even mildly intelligent person who listens to this buttfucking pap. This doddering, tunesmith verite jackoff bullshit is the soundtrack for middle-aged fuck-ups who STILL worry about what others think of their respective musical “tastes.” Good Lord, even New York City faggots don't listen to this shit.
6. Coco: Yo La Tengo. Give me a break. The encore was so long I sprouted 25 more gray hairs before it was over. And come on…anybody who's dancing to that shit is full of shit. Let the tomato throwing commence, you hipster doofuses!
7. Bob – The Rolling Stones would be a bit more respectable if they kept pace of dying members on par with the Beatles or even Lynard Skynard for that fact. Brian Jones was on the right track, but they shoved him out or was that into the pool? Fuck this band and fuck all you denim activists who struggle to keep it relevant. The Rolling Stones have been like musical Silly Putty for the last 40 or so years. They did a disco record to keep current, way to go bad asses, those lips deflated when Gerry Ford was a goddamn Senator.
8. Karli – Kraftwerk – Oh, you suck. You can point to the other bands you influenced that don't grate my nerves but every time I hear Autobahn I die a little. Also, I hold you single-handedly responsible for the tech rats and electronica jackasses that haunt the local record stores looking for break beats so that they can 'flavor' my favorite Otis Redding songs with digital chatter. Unforgiveable.
9. Joel – The Minutemen – Your precious sainted D. Boon is a sham, and Mike Watt is the biggest sack of shit dull-ass bassist in the history of indie rock. I don't know how somebody can make a seventy-five-second song overstay its welcome by two minutes, but these overrated goombahs managed to do it consistently. The same goes for Minor Threat!
10. Ollie- First off let me say that Karli has just killed me a little bit. I need to listen to the full 23 minute version of Autobahn.The one band I just don't get is The Who. 4 generations of people now swear by the band but when it comes down to it they just plain have nothing going for them.Don't get me started on Led Zepplin.
11. Tatiana- I don't get Elvis Costello and the people who go nuts over him. Also, like ..7- I hate the Rolling Stones. Oh I could go on and on but I'll spare you all.
12. K- The Pretenders! Krissy Hine singing “Brass in Pocket” or anything else for that matter makes me want to kill people!
13. ICONOCLAST- This is a long list but The Smiths are on the top with too much PC and too little talent.
14. Kim – Jimmy Buffet. The soundtrack to HELL …
15. M – That John Maher guy is pet peeve o'mine …WTF are ya dude …some weepy fucking emo balladeer or are ya this week's versh of Jimi Hendrix incarnate …make up yr freekin' mind ya twitchy fuckwit … and don't get me started on Bright Eyes or that annoying fucking Dashboard Confessional boo-hoo/woe is me teenage angst sing-along and slash yr wrists bullshit …or Interpol …or Franz Ferdinand … or Strokes …or White Stripes … all that sorta/kinda/but not even close/pretenders to throne of all things done BETTER before crap the kids today are all so over the moon o'er …and then there's Dave Matthews and that carload of happy horse shit …yeah, I got issues! I'm a loser baby …so why don'yt ya kill me!
16. Mothgirl ~ The Beach Boys – OMG hate hate hate hate hate – have met Brian Wilson and he is a sweetheart, I am thrilled for him he has recovered from so much hell in his life and I know he is very brilliant and all that – but their/his music makes me want to beat my head on the wall and it is like fingernails scraping torturously on a blackboard – Arrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!
17. IRIS- THE DOORS-YES I SAID IT AND I MAY HAVE JUST LOST A FEW FRIENDS…SORRY NOT MY BAG.
18. Carrie- Sublime~everyone likes them for some reason, even some friends of mine. Just a shitty bro band I just don't like them, most others seem to not sure why. Basically most of the bands listed on this thing are really good you guys are crazy, the Damned, Velvet Underground, Kraftwerk, Led Zep, the Doors, Beach boys what the hells you guys are crazy.
19. Mick- THE SMITHS……..YES….THE SMITHS…………. I SAID IT
20. Collin – The Ramones are crap. As dumb as the Beach Boys but with “street cred”. Give me Buddy Holly any day. OK yeah and the Strokes. Its almost like you can sound like anything if you're cool enough…. (insert jerking off hand gesture)
21. Johnny- Collin, I love you, but you're a fucking child. The Ramones are fucking amazing. It boggles my mind that they are over your head. The first Strokes record is brilliant. As far as bands that can sound like anything if they look cool enough (insert jerking off hand gesture), I believe you played bass on a couple of national tours with one of them…
22. Topher – Led Zeppelin (you already knew).
23. Oh god, just one? Cat Power. God I'd like to punch her in the face. Ellen
24. *frog* ~ Heart. Not much of a Rush fan, either. I grant that everyone is Rush is an awesome musician, but the music does NOT speak to me. Sorry. Lots of great technical skill but no soul. Kudos to Johnny – the Ramones are totally amazing… I won't even go on a tirade about how great The Damned are… my all-time favorite band for 20+ years … *grrr*
25. Mel- At the risk of sounding very unpopular…JOURNEY sucks. I would rather be stung repeatedly by wasps and then thrown off of a cliff rather than listen to Journey. Sappy, pop garbage. Ok… but, for some reason everyone I love -> loves them and it is slowly eroding my soul having to hear it. ugh. My idea of hell would be : having to teach 8th grade, while being stung by bees with Journey as the background music.
27. Dave Matthews …Nuff Said!- thesatelliteoflove
28. Van – PAVEMENT – yeah I said Pavement. Get yourself a haircut. whoa.. i can't believe people hate: 1. The Damned, 2. The Velvet Underground, 7. The Rolling Stones,16. The Beach Boys & 19. The Ramones
29. Brian -Iron and Wine, makes me ill
30. Carey – The Cure…they should try writing a song that doesn't sound like the last one they wrote.
31. Maim – She isn't a band, but I hate Gwen Stefani and anything that has any relation to her in any way. Please fall off a cliff into the fiery pits of hell, Gwen Stefani. Please?
32. Tex – U2! I hate U2! And if you want to get in my pants you'd better feel the same! I'm so sick of meeting dudes who have every last damn album.
33. Mikey – So hard to pick just one, but I've always said my soundtrack to hell consists of Creed, Lenny Kravitz, Limp Bizkit, Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock–GOD! just thinking of all 5 of them hurts my ears.
34. Jason – first off, this list is fucking awesome, although i wish no bodily harm to gwen stefani, but it would be great if she would shut up….
35. I second the Who. And I dislike the Mutantes only for secondary reasons. Like, them not having that much great material, and all these dudes being like, “Dude, are you into Brasillian music, have you heard Os Mutantes?”. Get off, fuck yourself, no, seriously, die.
36. Kate- Ok, this list is quite possibly the best thing I have ever seen on Myspace….but really, 13 and 19…THE SMITHS? Do you not HAVE ears or a heart? Crazy!! Anyway – this is a tough one – I could go on listing for hours but for the sake of listing one and Im gonna get crucified but seriously……what the fuck is Bright Eyes all about? Boring boring boring frog in throat, dull, phlegmy hipster crap!!
37. jb – sweet kate. Dear, thats why we're friends! i have to 2nd that Bright Eyes selection. Can we also add: James Brown, Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20, Secret Machines, Kings of Convenience (sorry kate), Rolling Stones & Phish/Grateful Dead. And almost every band on any of the MTv channels and Fuse. Quite possibly any band that has a video on tv. Whoa.
38. Dave – Radiohead.
39. Jenna-Sorry, I know some of you will hate me for this, but, MORRISSEY. Maybe it's not so much hate, just general dislike.
40. Liam – Social Distortion: Music for homophobic jocko-homo assholes when they get drunk and maudlin. Remember the movie Another State of Mind when Mike Ness says he likes to smear his eyeliner before he goes on stage so it looks like he's been crying? Boo fucking hoo Little Orphan Annie. They make me hate the working class.
50. Codec xo – I hate Moby. A lot. Stop.
51. Dawn – since as far back as I can remember…..Phil Collins…..I don't even know how the hell he shows up on half the shit he does but it's hard to avoid when your kid watches Disney movies….PURE TORTURE!!!!!!
52. Deanne- I can't believe none of these people said FUCKING BRITNEY SPEARS! Nails on a goddam chalk board! As well as GooGoo Dolls, 3 Doors Down, Matchbox 20 (especially that lead singer), a lot of Rap, and definitely Country. I have some issues. But Britney Spears and Clay Aiken for sure.
53. Brooke – Since Gwen Stefani and Sublime were already mentioned(DIE SUBLIME!!! Oh…wait…), I am going with 311. I don't feel it needs an explanation, they are just a terrible band. The other one is U2, blah. Here are some others I currently hate:The Strokes, My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy and fucking Green Day! grrrrrrrr……
54. R.L. – First of all some of you are just plain crazy! but keep on going though, this is fuckin hilarious! Ok as for mine I think we should all just start another Bulletin on how Bright Eyes just plain sucks. Im sick of all the attention this guy is getting. He is NOT the next Bob Dylan. He is NOt a great song writer. Hes just a lil emo punk that thinks he has some relevance and for some reason all print thinks so too.
55.Rachel – Rush sucks!
56. April- I have to agree with Rachel on this one. I have always hated Rush (especially since my annoying ex-boyfriend used to worship the drummer- you remember Andy Rachel!) I have never felt that they rocked because their music sounds so gay.
57. Ian – Sadly I didn't read all that is here so I don't know if anyone has already mentioned “Bright Eyes.” If so I wonder if it is for my reasons: the man is like the Henry Ford of the maudlin; his vocal stylings are like a parody of real human emotions; his subject matter (just can't get over “fill in this blank” I mean I just can't!) makes him the world's oldest teenager. The vanity of this musician would be appalling even if it were to be found in one with actual, significant talent.
58. Jen- listening to the beatles makes me want to do vicious things. sorry, they're fucking terrible. listen to better music, please. i don't care how cool you thought john lennon was or how much you like “hey jude”…btw, that song blows. hard.
59. Jake – Kelly Clarkson. she really boils my potatoes.
60. ChillOutdickwad – Good Charlotte, those are the biggest group of whiney fags i've heard or seen in my life. Rachel must die for her insulting comments to rock legends and gods RUSH!
61. Mr.Q – i would have to say that AFI is the shittest of all bands and are the most annoying pieces of shit!!!!
62. JgerMonster – System of a Down. They fuckin' blow. I can't even tolerate hearing the first notes of one of their songs. And I can't stand The Beatles or the Doors. Sorry… I'm not a hippie on acid. That music doesn't do shit for me.
63. charlie~ Tom (see ..1) is an idiot