Ahead of Danzig's show at Gibson Ampitheater tonight — and in the midst of our Danzig-palooza festivities — we told you last week about his most insane stalker. This certifiably-nuts fan was caught on Danzig's property with apparent plans to kill his idol. Found on him? A backpack full of porno magazines, featuring everyone's heads cut out and Danzig's taped in their place.
While undoubtedly terrifying — the guy was arrested, thankfully — there's something also ridiculous and, dare we say, awe-inspiring about all of this. Danzig's fans have such high regard for him that they'd clearly like him to star in many more of their entertainments. All of this got us wondering what might it might be like if Danzig's head popped up in other moments from entertainment history.
Danzig in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
That time Danzig took over managing the industrial chocolate compound staffed by tiny green-haired men? Production was up 45 percent.
Danzig in Back to the Future
He never arrived in time for his clarinet lessons. He never arrived in time for church. Then one day, he wasn't in his time at all!
Danzig in Home Alone
When Glenn's bodyguard left for vacation, he forgot one minor detail: Glenn. Fortunately he can handle himself. He cooks, he cleans, he kicks some Wet Bandit butt.
Danzig in Forest Gump
Life is more like the most luxurious blood bath you've ever taken than a box of chocolates when Glenn is around, but whatever.
Danzig in Ghostbusters
He doesn't just want your skulls, he wants to exterminate apparitions. No, seriously, who you gonna call?