Just as there's a “gay ear” — and watch out, gents, because piercing the wrong lobe will alter your sexuality — there's a gay sandwich. Be afraid! Of… egg, veggie bacon, veggie cheese, avocado, sprouts and sundried tomato.

That's what was in the “Gay Boy” sandwich at Hana Natural, a newish grocer in Bushwick. Was in the sandwich, as in “someone with common sense realized it might be uncool” and renamed the $7 sandwich the “Garden Boy.”

Lest you think the Brooklyn grocer is anti-gay, they also sold a wrap called “The Illegal,” which included jalapeños (It's Mexican! Get it?) and one called “The Butter Face.” The former has been rechristened “South of the Border”; the latter, “Farmer's Tan.” At least Hana Natural is an equal opportunity offender.

Maybe that's how they do things out in New York, but here in California, we don't ask and we don't tell. Whatever two consenting, adult sandwiches choose to do between the privacy of their buns is nobody's business. Besides, scientists estimate that 1 in 10 sandwiches is gay. There may be numerous “gay boy” sandwiches. How good is your sandwich gaydar?

In case you were wondering, the gay sandwich is in the middle row, second from the right.

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