In case you want bacon on your body instead of just in it, there's Bacōn, a cologne that claims to combine the salty, savory scent of bacon with “11 essential oils” (manteca, we presume). Unless, of course, Bacōn is a spoof — and we suspect it may be.
Supposedly invented in 1920 by Parisian butcher John Fargingay, it's unisex, costs $36 per bottle and comes in two varieties: Bacōn Classic and Bacōn Gold. It even has its own Saturday Night Live-esque spoof ad.
In case Bacōn is real, it's pronounced “bay-kone” — because you wouldn't want to sound like Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls when you order a gallon jug of the stuff. (“Ver-says,” anyone?)
But what does it smell like? According to the website: “These are sophisticated aromas. There is a top, middle and bottom note. Both Bacōn Classic and Bacōn Gold are comprised of essential oils, flowers, herbs and the essence of bacon. The bacon is the bottom note. Hidden in just the right place. It's there alright, and the real fun is in finding it.” Of course it is.
We're wearing some right now, along with our Hollandaise body lotion and hash browns-scented deoderant.