The Hollywood Reporter (via Fishbowl LA) reports that the stupidly-renamed SyFy network, home of BSG and a crapload of crap genre TV movies made with tongue firmly planted in (ass)cheek, has cast '80s teenybopper idols Tiffany and Debbie Gibson for their latest crapsterpiece, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.

OG carpet-matches-drapes pinup Tiffany will play Mega Python, a down-on-her-luck stripper who every 28 days turns into an enormous serpent. Onetime virginal “Electric Youth” chanteuse Debbie Gibson will play Gatoroid, a down-on-her-luck sports-drink spokesmodel who, when angered, turns into an enormous biodegradable plastic container of overpriced green water and “electrolytes.” They fight a lot through the magic of budget CGI, before teaming up as crimefighters and engaging in soft-focus sapphic encounters.

Actually, none of the above is true. According to the Hollywood Reporter,

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators. In the script, the pair brawl at a party, then take matters outside into the swamp.

We like our version better.

Oh, there's one more priceless nugget:

Former Monkee Mickey Dolenz costars:

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