Drake is both a successful, critically acclaimed popstar, and a bona fide human meme. He shifts from angry, over-the-top braggadocio to desperate, doubting, melancholy croons. He's either coolly assured in his sexuality or skeptical he'll ever find someone to love him back. Drake's a contemplative guy, and despite his ridiculously privileged life, he's always eager to talk about his feelings with a rare, inscrutable sincerity. It's a quirk that's given us a lot of great songs, and a lot of befuddling lyrics. There may never be a popstar as gleefully un-self-aware, than Aubrey Drake Graham.
With that in mind, and “All Me” in the background, we decided to pay tribute to his growing legacy, by ranking what the 10 least self-aware lines in his history.
10. “I never cheated for the record back when I was with you, but you believed in everything but me girl I don't get you” – “Shot For Me”
For a guy whose career has been partly defined by grimy tales of exploitive women, strippers, and groupies, Drake seems strangely mystified that his ex-girlfriend is a little suspicious of his fidelity. There was the sex with his babysitter to consider, after all.
9. “Just as a reminder to myself, I wear every single chain even when I'm in the house” – “Started From the Bottom”
This is one of the most depressing lines in the entire Drake catalog, because it implies that–despite the mansions, the money, the cars, the women, the friends, the business ventures–Drake is still incredibly insecure.
8. “Don't be fooled by all the money, I'm still young and unlucky.”
7. “We go to dinner you don't look to me to pay” – “Fancy”
This is meant to be endearing, how the lady Drake is
taking out to dinner is apparently realer because she doesn't expect him to
pick up the tab. While there is some faint sense of progressivism to that, we
are talking about a guy who once spent
$50,000 at a strip club, and–according to “Started From the Bottom–won't play a live show for less than $500,000. But no, when it comes to food, girl better be
splitting the bill.
6. “Came up, that's all me, stayed true, that's all me, no help, that's all me, all me, for real” – “All Me”
Drake is so concerned about the world knowing about his
independent solvency, that he literally claims he had “no help.” Sorry Birdman,
Lil Wayne, Degrassi, and general
socio-economic privilege! Drake never needed you!
5. “I just been playing, I ain't even notice I was winning” – “Over My Dead Body”
Yes you have.
4. “It's just what comes with the fame, and I'm ready for that” – “Over”
Then we should never hear Drake talk about how hard it is to be famous again, right?
3. “Yeah baby, you finer than your fine cousin, and your cousin is fine, but she don't have my heart beating in double time” – “Shut it Down”
It's so wonderful to know that Drake wrote this line, and
probably thought it was the sweetest thing he could possibly say. “Hey baby,
you're really hot, so let me briefly invoke the image of a family member that I
also want to fuck, but not as badly as I want to fuck you.”
2. “Even a couple pornstars that I'm ashamed to mention” – “Lord Knows”
Drake, there is no way you are dumb enough to think this line
1. “I've had sex four times this week I'll explain, having a hard time adjusting to fame” – “Marvins Room”
This is it, this is the most perfectly un-self-aware lyric in Drake history. Not only is it a humblebrag, it's a humblebrag masquerading as a deep, pining, existential pang. It comes in the middle of “Marvin's Room,”a song essentially about drunk-dialing an ex, and is sung with such serene impartiality that it leaves no question that in this moment, Drake wholeheartedly believes his own bullshit–a quality we can't help but adore.
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