Update: Now, the Wednesday edition.

Updated after the jump with current conditions and some record storm stats for the books. Originally posted at 12:36 p.m.

Update, 3:20 p.m.: The big storm should hit between midnight and noon tomorrow. We'll get at least two inches. (So far, 14 people have been rescued from Orange County floods. Don't let this happen to you, Los Angeles! Aka, don't go on a hike or refuse to evacuate.)

The ground is soaking up all this sky juice like a rag — it's only a matter of time before something gives. Here's your guide to avoiding the worst of it. We'll be reporting as things (hopefully) open back up, grateful for once to be stuck in the office.

There is a gale-force wind advisory from 7 p.m. to 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. That's in addition to thunder and lightning and all that good stuff. UPDATE: AND TORNADOES. Yes. Tornadoes.

• The Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) is by far the worst of the closures:

A nine-mile stretch near the Ventura County line is still stopped up from yesterday, WITH NO SIGNS OF RE-OPENING until later this week. (For commuters this morning, that meant taking the 101, which had its own miles-long backup until a couple hours ago.) Anyway, there's apparently rockslides and debris everywhere, and the LA Daily News reports the PCH pavement is under three feet of mud in places. Suggested detour: Kanan Dume Road to the 101.

• Potholes are popping up on L.A. freeways like spots on a cow. KNX news radio reports that Caltrans keeps waltzing in to save the day — doing what they can to repair the rain-gouged holes and shutting down roadways you probably really really needed to be not shut down.

• The I-405 South also has a giant hole getting bigger in the carpool lane, just as you come out of the San Fernando Valley. Caltrans is about to make its descent, so avoid that one like the plague. Also look out for a couple closed lanes near the MacArthur exit, as well as Seal Boulevard.

• Along the 15 South, right before the 215, the two right lanes are closed. Expect delays. Then, when you get to San Bernardino on the 215, you'll find lanes on both sides between Second Street and Ninth Street blocked due to flooding.

• According to the Daily News, the outskirts of town are getting hit the worst: “Big Tujunga Canyon Road and the winding roads between La Canada-Flintridge and Palmdale, including Angeles Forest Highway, are also closed until the threat of flooding and debris flows passes.”

• Highway 18 is closed one mile south of Big Bear Lake due to a rock slide.

Update: Los Angeles firefighters received 1,227 calls for help on Monday, while the SoCal AAA handled a record 25,000 calls. (Ironically, AAA's previous record was 22,000, during an October 2008 heat wave. Those were the days…)

Over 12,000 Southern California Edison customers had their power go out today (that's like the DWP for everyone inside SoCal but outside L.A.). La Verne's Live Oak Canyon, in particular, a giant tree crashed through the power lines supplying a few hundred homes. One resident told City News Service that SCE said it'd be days before their electricity was restored. Better get to eating your perishables, guys.

ALSO, BREAKING: “Storm Evacuations Ordered For 200 La Canada Flintridge, La Crescenta Residents”

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