Jeff Weiss[Editor's note: Weekly scribe Jeff Weiss's column, “Bizarre Ride,” appears on West Coast Sound every Wednesday. His archives are available here.]
See also: Julia Holter Dims the Noise
The dog days of summer haven't deterred the Dodgers. After a brutal start filled with frequent cries to fire the manager, the boys in blue have become the National League's hottest team.
Maybe it's manifest destiny considering they boast the NL's highest payroll by a cool $70 million. Maybe it's the combination of good fortune and grit that you get when Magic Johnson is a minority owner. After all, there's a weird serendipity unseen at Chavez Ravine since a gimpy Kirk Gibson crushed a walk-off home run in the 1988 World Series.
The pitching staff double as weapons of mass destruction down to a starter who shares a last name with a Street Fighter character. Hanley Ramirez and Yasiel Puig (the latter the greatest rookie phenom since Stephen Strasburg) electrify the offense.
With the playoffs drawing closer, it's time to study the at-bat music of the 2013 squad to help predict whether they're capable of winning the franchise's first fall classic in a quarter century.
Adrian Gonzalez
Kutless, “Chance of a Lifetime”; Mariachi Vargas, “El Mariachi Loco”
What this may reveal
Gonzalez welcomes sponsorship opportunities with advertisers seeking to court both the Latin and evangelical baseball-loving demographics. His favorite actor is Antonio Banderas.
Matt Kemp
Young Jeezy, “R.I.P.”
What this may reveal
Matt Kemp has asked Yasiel Puig for the Spanish translation of “ratchet.” He's using his music as a meta-commentary on his frequent trips to the disabled list.
Brian Wilson
House of Pain, “Jump Around”
What this may reveal
Brian Wilson is a white person.
Carl Crawford
Future featuring Trae tha Truth, “Long Live the Pimp”
What this may reveal
The Houston native crosses himself and points to Pimp C in the sky before every at-bat. Don't leave your girl around Carl Crawford.
Hanley Ramirez
Rihanna, “Pour it Up”
What this may reveal
Hanley Ramirez will wear a do-rag whenever the fuck he feels like it. He's secretly trolling Matt Kemp.
Yasiel Puig
Secreto El Famoso Biberon, “Papa Dios Me Digo”
What this may reveal
The Cuban midseason call-up has already supplied Kemp with at least eight different Spanish synonyms for “ratchet.”
A.J. Ellis
Foo Fighters, “Walk”
What this may reveal
A.J. Ellis only likes real music made by real bros with guitars who only use their computers for email and surfing pornography. He is a fan of music originally written for the Moneyball soundtrack.
Tim Federowicz
Lil Wayne, “Right Above It”
What this may reveal
You don't want to know what Tim Federowicz will do for some Trukfit.
Zack Greinke
Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Snow (Hey Oh)”
What this may reveal
Since signing to the Dodgers as a free agent, the 2009 American League Cy Young Award winner has spent at least a dozen hours vainly attempting to find the bridge downtown where Anthony Kiedis drew some blood.
Kenley Jansen
Snoop Dogg, “I Wanna Rock”
What this may reveal
Every team needs one guy in the clubhouse celebrating the cinematic merits of Half Baked.
Andre Ethier
Delinquent Habits, “Tres Delinquentes”
What this may reveal
On several occasions, men with shaved heads, tattoos and menacing goatees have visited manager Don Mattingly. What they said remains unclear. But each time, Andre Ethier was in the starting lineup the next day.
Dee Gordon
Rick Ross, “Speedin' ”
What this may reveal
Dee Gordon has been known to jump up off the 90 freeway onto a waiting speedboat in the Marina. He has the team's best fur collection.
Clayton Kershaw
Fun., “We Are Young”
What this may reveal
The moon may be on their side.
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