Bartenders of Los Angeles, be stoked:

A team of four students at California State University, Long Beach have mechanically engineered your new best friend. It hasn't really been branded yet, but the team member who uploaded it to YouTube describes it as a “beer machine,” which is as accurate a name as any.

Here's what it does:

The user (presumably a bartender, or a stage-five alcoholic) places the beer glass beneath the spigot, then selects one of three different beers stored in the machine.

That's where the human input ends and the robot magic begins.

The machine picks up the cup, tilts it to minimize foam and pours out a perfect-sized pint. “Then you drink it!” shouts someone in the background.

We're trying to get in touch with the student inventors through CSULB's Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering Department.

But until then, we'll assume that the machine could one day be expanded to accomodate more like five or 10 types of beer — effectively replacing the janky old wooden tug system currently employed by bars across America with a scary aluminum “smart tap.”

The system is “intended for use at bars so bartenders can tend to other customers who want mixed drinks,” says YouTube uploader diceptekonz. “The beer pour is all automated, all the user has to do is select the beer and enjoy!”

Welcome to the future, where cup-lifting and side-spillage are for fogies and nostalgics.

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.