Written in Partnership with Amir BakianAlready making headlines in her award-winning book, ‘That Sucked, Now What?: How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess,’ best-selling author and acclaimed life coach, Dr. Neeta Bhushan, offers a practical framework to embrace the possibilities in chaos, normalize sucky human moments, overcome setbacks with grace, and fly forward every time.
Magic and mess are two words that you probably haven’t heard together in a sentence very often. Mess is negative, disorderly and frankly, very chaotic, while magic is exciting, alluring and captivating.
As human beings, we tend to think that magic and mess are two entirely different things. But the truth is, like night and day or the sun and moon, they go hand in hand. Oftentimes we need to experience darkness, or the mess in our lives, in order to embrace the light, the magic and the possibilities of what’s to come.
After overcoming multiple adversities such as being orphaned at a young age, surviving an abusive marriage and domestic violence, as well as dealing with extensive loss, Dr. Neeta Bhushan realized it was her calling to help others do the same.
Today she is a 3x international best-selling & award-winning author, transformational speaker, world renowned emotional health educator, co-founder of the Global Grit Institute, a mental health training platform for leaders and professionals, and co-founder of the Dharma Coaching Institute, training thousands to live their best lives.
Dr. Neeta Bhushan has helped hundreds of thousands of people move past their heartbreaks, failures, and disappointments, and here she shares three of the five steps in her fly forward framework that are included in her upcoming book, That Sucked, Now What?: How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess.
1. Recognize That You’re In A Fall
Dr. Bhushan says the first step in flying forward and overcoming adversity is literally just recognizing that you’re in a fall.
“When somebody is in a falling stage, they are faced with a choice,” she says. “Either they stay in that relationship or they leave; either they’re going to stay with a boss that puts them down, or they’re going to speak up,” she says.
Dr. Bhushan explains that when you first realize that you’re in a fall, there’s value in looking back at the experiences you’ve been through, your upbringing and environment, to try and assess what led up to these moments. Perhaps you witnessed violence in the home growing up, which made you more susceptible to the same thing, or your teachers put you down in school which is why you allow your boss to do the same. This step is about recognizing where you are and thinking about where you’d like to go instead.
2. Ignite The Ignition
Stage two is about taking action. If you recognize that you’re in a fall and are keen on changing your situation, you have to take action to truly create change. In her situation, Dr. Bhushan realized that her marriage wasn’t working out, so she made the decision to put herself first and leave the relationship.
This stage is not at all easy, but is an integral part of letting go so you can allow the magic to find its way back into your life.
“This step is the realization that perhaps what you’re doing hasn’t worked, and it’s about doing something different,” Dr. Bhushan continues. It requires you to take a leap of faith while maintaining your belief in the universe that everything will work out.
3. Allow Yourself To Rise
“This is where we are going to choose something new, every single day” she says. “When we’re afraid, because we’re so stuck in our situation, sometimes it’s so helpful to just do the opposite of what we’re used to. For example, if you want to lay in bed all day. How about you get up, take a shower, or maybe draw a bath and sit in it,” she says.
Dr. Bhushan explains that taking these micro actions and doing the opposite of what you’re used to will allow you to build a slow and steady sense of confidence. Perhaps you already quit the job you hate or left the relationship that was holding you back, but you need to continue to take care of yourself. This stage, allowing yourself to rise, gives you the opportunity to prioritize yourself and change the trajectory of your life by taking small steps every single day.
If you found value in what you read here, and would like to uncover Dr. Neeta Bhushan’s additional two foundational steps in flying forward, be sure to pre-order a copy of her book, ‘That Sucked, Now What?: How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess, today!
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