Update: You want the dirt on Tupac? Here's the real dirt on Tupac. “The 'Keffe D' Tapes: 10 Highlights of Confession From Gangster Who Says Sean Combs Hired Him to Kill Tupac.”

TMZ claims to have viewed a sex tape starring the late L.A. gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur — an alleged feat in multitasking. (Task 1: Sap cocktails, puff blunts with homies. Task 2: Lipsync to own unreleased track. Task 3: Get dick sucked. But more on that later!)

What makes the release of Shakur's posthumous, two-decades-old sex tape strangest…

… is its particular drop date. Today happens to be the day ex-LAPD Detective Greg Kading airs the groundbreaking murder confessions he gathered while leading the department's 2006-09 task force on the Shakur and Biggie Smalls murders.

The sex tape was reportedly filmed in 1991, a full half-decade before Shakur would be killed in Vegas, when his name was still far from household.

Still, he'd apparently been around long enough to earn the respect of some house-party groupies. TMZ reports that, after walking into the living room shirtless, “with his pants down to his ankles,” Shakur pulls off a pompous juggling act of an orgy:

Tupac — whose head is shaved — pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac's is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips.

And it gets even better. As the woman services Tupac, who is holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around Money B, continues singing and dancing … and the woman never stops.

As the tape ends it appears he's ready to begin sexual intercourse. It's unclear if there's another tape.

Of course, no one else has actually seen the footage yet, so the flurry of news sites re-reporting its existence are apparently just taking horny Harvey's word for gold. All in all, though, sounds like typical Pac. Now there's a porn star who wouldn't shy from the money shot!

But in regard to Shakur's yet-unsolved murder, we're kinda spooked by the sex tape's timing. Not to get all paranoid and Russell Poole-y, but could whoever's leaking this thing possibly want some heat taken off the real story? Read it here: “Cop's Book Says Sean Combs, Suge Knight Ordered Tupac and Biggie Killings.”

Sex, lies, murder. Not a bad news day for the most talked-about ghost in West Coast hip-hop.

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.