This time of year, people are holding fast to fresh New Year's resolutions, many of which pertain to eating and drinking habits. Magazines and websites love rattling off good food-related resolutions, often suggesting lifestyle changes such as fewer processed foods, less meat, and more local produce as well as austerity measures like fewer meals at restaurants and more dinners cooked at home. Some folks aim to dine more frequently with friends and loved ones. Others want to lose weight. In any event, such sweeping resolutions are tough to stomach, if only because they're usually broken by February.

And that sucks. Because most of us hate breaking promises, especially those we make to ourselves. The major problem with such self-improvement imperatives is largely that they place the bar too high, that they set the resolver up for failure. To make your resolutions last past Easter, try making them a little more reasonable. For example, scope our five.

5. We will not eat spoiled food. There is no way we are consuming anything sour, rancid, rank, or mold-flecked this year. Dare us, offer us a bit of cash, or even a week's supply of unspoiled food, and we still will not.

4. Life is too short for wack snacks. So as to buy the things we really want to snack on, we will go grocery shopping only when we are ravenous.

3. We will not eat filet mignon. We can afford to give it up.

2. In order to fight food waste, we will buy more food–produce, meat, and bread others might otherwise buy and potentially waste–and eat it all.

1. We will not discriminate against food from different kingdoms. We will savor plants, animals, and fungi alike, devouring with joy and respect.

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