Emma CourtlandIn addition to the comic books, video games, and movies about comic books and video games, the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con debuted a new batch of nerdy snack foods this past weekend. Attendees geeked out, and rightly so. A nerd's gotta eat, mainly because walking the half million square foot exhibit hall is the most exercise some of these guys get all year. Also, they have to conserve strength for the eminent Robot Apocalypse. Here are our Top 5 Culinary Absurdities from SDCC 2010.
1. Zombie Blood
Why are zombies are so fast and strong? Because they're full of zombie blood of course. Now you can be too! For those seeking strength and stamina, but are too busy pwning to hold a canned energy drink: Zombie Blood is available in resealable 100 mL pouches that can be hung from any overhanging ledge and sucked through an IV drip (assuming you already have one), leaving your hands free to down down up up right left right left B A. And it tastes like lime! Yum!
Gamer Grub; Credit: E. Courtland
2. Gamer Grub
Among the healthier FUBU gaming snacks, Gamer Grub scores high on the two categories most important to gamers: performance and convenience. Ostensibly a combination of a number of bready, nutty, chocolatey, or berry-type ingredients, each pouched snack approximates the taste of one of four, higher-maintenance snacks: PB&J, pizza, BBQ, and S'mores. It's like trail mix, if trail mix were packed with select vitamins and neurotransmitters to increase rapid cognitive performance.
3. Super Mario Snerdles Candied Fruit Stripes
Though otherwise not very absurd, Super Mario Snerdles have so many choking hazards that they're recommended for only “Mature Collectors 15 years of age and older,” which pretty much eliminates their entire buyer market.
Serious sportsmen require serious sports beverages, crafted to their specific needs. When your level 2 paladin is attacked by a troll in an enchanted forest at 2 a.m., the Dragon Master knows that Red Bull just isn't enough. You need mana. Enter Mana Energy Potion. One 50 ml. shot contains the same amount of caffeine as four cups of coffee, which will help your character level up, but not your social life.
Because your two favorite things are jerky and killing zombies, Zombie Flesh Jerky launched at Comic-Con this year, along with its sister snack, Zombie Tongue. Unlike other zombie jerky products, Zombie Flesh Jerky is spicy and promises a free body part in each 4 oz. bag.
Credit: E. Courtland
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