Lina LecaroThere are plenty of upscale places in L.A. to get mixology drinks, but whatever happened to bars that just DGAF?
Oh, they're here. Trust us, you just have to seek them out. Fortunately, we've done the heavy lifting for you, and below are 10 bars where the clientele get drunk, crazy, and up to no good.
Whether you're looking to lift your spirits, get annihilated, or just find some over-the-top camaraderie, these spots will be up your alley.
See also: Top 10 Bars in Echo Park
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Credit: Isaac Simpson
10. Venice Whaler
Venice
For a bar on the beach, The Venice Whaler is no L.A. stereotype. The place is packed on Sundays, with raucous revelers getting schwasty on domestic drafts from noon 'til night. With sports on the TVs and fried food on the tables, it feels more like Tuscaloosa than Venice. Where are the Abbott Kinney trustafarians in search of Old Fashioneds and Kale? You ask. The answer: Not here. The Whaler finds loud, lively locals throwing back suds and screaming at the game. It's the kind of place where girls dance on the bar and pour rail vodka down each others throats. There's live music downstairs, a patio overlooking the ocean upstairs, and a team of friendly bartenders happy to serve you syrupy margaritas until you lose count. 10 Washington Blvd., Marina del Rey, CA 90292; 310-821-8737 –Isaac Simpson
Dimples in Burbank; Credit: Flickr/malkoff
9. Dimples
Burbank
This is no kitschy, in-on-the-joke Burbank bar; this place is low-down, from the egregious rooftop Hollywood imagery to their F-list actors doing karaoke. Swing by any night of the week and there's a decent chance you'll find someone you recognize from television in the bathroom, trying to keep the party going by themselves. Plus, they shot an episode of Bar Rescue here, and the host Jon Taffer is a guy who loves a drink called the Green Lizard – 151-proof room, chartreuse – because it “makes people horny.” 3413 W. Olive Ave., Burbank, CA 91505; 818-842-2336 –Farley Elliott
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8. The Down & Out
Downtown
From the gloomy moniker to the mugshot-swathed walls, The Down & Out is a space made for menace. Located on the bottom level of the Alexandria Hotel, its live band bookings range from ear-splitting metal, to fast, attitude-filled rock stompers. Mosh pits are commonplace and once in a while you'll see a brawl. Still, for the most part, all the revelry makes for a giddy, if gritty, experience. Downtown druggies, street dwellers and the drunk punks who come for bands and brewskies co-exist amid the chaos of the music, and it all kinda works. (Be careful about the strong pours and cheap taps, though!) Note the mugshots of famed rockers and celebs that sort of glorify hedonists and hooligans; or, if you prefer, there's a photo booth where patrons can strike a faux arrest pose themselves. 501 S. Spring St., Los Angeles, CA 90013; 213-489-7800 -Lina Lecaro
Credit: Lina Lecaro
7. Hamburger Mary's
West Hollywood
There's plenty of queen-size craziness and foul-mouthed hilarity inside the drag dens of L.A., but perhaps the most eye-popping, insanely inebriated spectacles are at WeHo's Hamburger Mary's. Twerking, stripper pole dancing, salacious sing-a-longs, and make-out sessions that can sometimes continue into the disco-ball embellished bathroom can all be found here. The food is yummy, greasy and bad for you, while the drinks are Vegas-huge and will most likely make you do things you'll regret tomorrow. But midst the fierce and flamboyant energy of it all, you just don't care. With clubby dance beats blasting non-stop and performers egging on the intoxicated outrageousness, Mary's is a juicy, juiced-up good time you'll want to bite into again. 8288 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046; 323-654-3800 -Lina Lecaro
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6. Loaded
Hollywood
Loaded's original incarnation, called Tiny's, may have felt a little more raw and authentic in its rock n' roll ambiance; it was, after all, co-owned by a member of Bad Religion. Loaded, however, has managed to surpass its predecessors's punky circus feel and then some. There's a lot of rockin' décor here – a giant poster of the Ramones riot police-infested Palladium show, a wall of huge amps, a Jack Daniels chandelier, naked lady wall paper. But it's the music that bring the place to life. That and the self-proclaimed freaks who frequent this joint, wearing spikey hair, tattoos, leather, and lots of black. Amped up by the hustle of Hollywood Blvd. and the blaring metal and punk inside, the patio pumps with an everyone's fucked-up feel that beckons. 6377 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90028; 323-464-5689 –Lina Lecaro
Credit: Isaac Simpson
5. Bar C
Downtown
This former sake bar in Little Tokyo has descended into a wonderful den of boozy iniquity, due largely to their signature cocktail, The Galvatron, made from 151, bourbon, and tequila, and known to cause instant puke or instant blackout. Those who can still stand sprawl out on furry cushions; like a den out of Naked Lunch, Bar C's dark, dank vibe is lined with a feeling of otherworldly psychosis – nighthawks in various stages of catatonia pack the narrow interior while the all-female Cosplay-obsessed bartenders – dressed in either French Maid outfits or Geisha robes – whip patrons with their own belts on request. It's a place where time freezes, anything goes, and no one remembers their acts of Galvatron-induced bacchanalia. 428 E. 2nd St., Los Angeles, CA 90012; 213-628-8877 -Isaac Simpson
See also: This Cocktail Causes Instant Blackout
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Credit: Via Voice Places.
4. Sardos
Burbank
This Burbank mini-mall hovel has karaoke every night, but each night is nonetheless different. Some evenings it's very loud and even lewd. DJs spin later on, brining on a wasted, Valley Girls Gone Wild vibe. But what really takes it over the top is its legendary PSK Tuesdays event: “Porn Star Karaoke” is a chaotic saline and sausage fest every time, and the place gets so crowded that you had better be careful what you touch. Busty babes and pervy dudes in “the business” mingle at the reserved tables, and powder their noses in the bathrooms. Those who take the mic let their inner attention whores take over, yelling out things like “I love anal!” and getting all touchy/grindy during the performances. This leads to horny drunk dudes and beer-goggled hook-ups, at the very least. 259 N. Pass Ave., Burbank, CA 91505; 818-846-8126 –Lina Lecaro
32 oz. bottles for sale at Roger's Exciting Tattle Tale Room; Credit: Farley Elliott
3. Roger's Exciting Tattle Tale Room
Culver City
Along with the somehow much-less heralded Scarlet Lady next door, Roger's Exciting Tattle Tale Room is strip mall divey-ness at its best. Operating from a low-slung corner on Sepulveda in that southern part of Culver City where everyone likes to throw garbage out their window, the Tattle Tale does everything a hard-partying bar should: there are cheap nudie photos for sale from a vending machine in the bathroom, bartenders pour tall shots of bad booze all night long, and bad karaoke takes over the bar every night, whether you want it to or not (you don't). Plus, this place is somehow a Packers bar, making for drunk people with high opinions of themselves galore. But what really makes Roger's room “exciting” is the constant threat of violence. There was a stabbing in the parking lot out front on New Year's Eve, and there have been muggings as well. But as long as they don't take your wooden drink tokens – good for a free pint, and given out by the bartenders, seemingly completely at their discretion – all is not lost. 5401 Sepulveda Blvd., Culver City, CA 90230; 310-390-2489 –Farley Elliott
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Leather night* (*every night) at The Eagle.; Credit: Matt Baume
2. The Eagle
Silver Lake
If your idea of the perfect night out involves an inordinate amount of leather, some light mask work and, oh, hanging from ropes while a snake plays on your chest, The Eagle might be for you. Billing itself as “a premier leather gay bar,” this Silver Lake haunt fills up most nights with leather daddies and nominally curious onlookers willing to brave the fiesta inside. Regardless of gender or sexual preference, it's always a party, thanks to rough-chested bartenders, an annual Mr. Leather competition and the ongoing Sunday “Swap Meat.” The men here are stronger, stranger and seriously more underdressed than you'll ever be – unless you start becoming a regular yourself. 4219 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029; 323-669-9472 –Farley Elliott
Credit: Lina Lecaro
1. Smog Cutter
East Hollywood
The regulars at this infamous East Hollywood dive are a mix of busted barflies, pseudo-hip druggie types and eccentric locals. “Farewell greeting” to newbies often involve the words, “Get,” “The” and “Fuck Out.” The bar staff is usually an army of Thai women in tacky get-ups, and lord help you if you don't engage with them or adhere to their demands for the two drink minimum. Designated drivers are in trouble; you will be forced to buy a drink or leave. (If you opt for a soda, expect to pay the same price as your friend with the Jack and Coke. That said, the prices generally seem to fluctuate.) Be sure to kick it with the Cutter's co-owner Mama Nita, who is a ton of fun. Add in the crazed karaoke blasting in the background (group renditions of “Baby Got Back” and 2 a.m. “Like A Prayer” sing-a-longs with everyone in the bar) and this place is downright Lynch-ian. If you've got the mental cajones and drinking chops to hang here, you may never want to stumble out of a normal bar ever again. 864 N. Virgil Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90029; 323-660-4626 -Lina Lecaro
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