Jessie Kahnweiler feels pretty inadequate when compared to veterans. Which is why this Veteran's Day, the L.A. comedian is looking to give back in a pretty, uh, selfless way. “Our vets have been getting fucked, right?” she says. “So now it's time for me to fuck a vet.” 

That's the premise of her new video “Jessie Fu*ks A Vet,” which, spoiler alert, isn't actually a porno. In fact, the first veteran Kahnweiler approaches, a bald, no-nonsense kind of guy on the campus of the V.A. West Los Angeles Medical Center in Westwood, responds to her proposition with a resounding “no.” (But it's the thought that counts, right?)

One veteran seems genuinely confused when asked whether he'd like “a little champagne on Isis.” Another simply giggles at the offer of a good ol' hand job while he waits in line at the V.A. Medical Center. Meanwhile, Kahnweiler desperately attempts to change the first veteran's mind by disclosing that she's got an I.U.D. The straight-faced veteran proves he can play this game, too, when he corrects her: you mean an I.E.D — or, improvised explosive device? 

]

And from there, the video takes a very real, very serious turn. Childish hand job jokes quickly segue into difficult conversations about PTSD, depression, loss, heartbreak — and yes, even getting fucked — by the military and by war itself.
 
“You see when we went in [to the military] it was like, 'We're gonna take care of your family and everybody,'” says one veteran wearing a black beanie and black sweatsuit. But “it didn't work out too good.”  

See also: Jessie Kahnweiler Combines Dark Comedy With Judaism

A younger veteran, who clutches a skateboard in Palisades Park, can't explain why he wakes up screaming with nightmares in the middle of the night. As for the veteran who refused the hand job? He opens up his own hands to show how his medication makes him tremble. Kahnweiler, dressed in a red and blue polka dotted jumpsuit and a Marine's hat, diffuses the obvious tension by dancing, twerking and, more often than not, insisting that sex is the answer.

Except when it's so clearly not. One bearded, presumably homeless veteran in Palisades Park entertains the possibility of this proposition, only to confess that he can't do it: he's been celibate for more than a dozen years. The reason? “A woman broke my heart,” he says, and in that moment, Kahnweiler is so speechless that no amount of twerking could attempt to remedy the overwhelming sadness. 

This Veteran's Day, you don't need to fuck (or fuck with) a vet to show that you care. “Just respect the veterans, that's it,” says the bald veteran at the V.A. Medical Center. “It's something very, very simple.” And it's also a lot less messy than a hand job. 

Jennifer Swann on Twitter:

Public Spectacle, L.A. Weekly's arts & culture blog, on Facebook and Twitter:

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.