“Lisa would probably go out and buy herself 20 pairs of shoes,” Taylor told us of her friend, guest and fellow Housewife, “but I'd rather throw a huge birthday party for my daughter. That's just how I am.”

How selfless of her, really. Taylor's massive Mad Hatter-themed fête for her 4-year-old daughter Kennedy included oversized headgear for all, designer floral arrangements and a super-pink tea party. And of course no fourth birthday would be complete without a diamond Barbie necklace, psychic readings and signature cocktails. The total cost for this affair? $60,000.

And were the kids amazed, impressed and totally grateful?

Not really. Why? Maybe because they're four. The little girls, surprisingly unenthused by the extravagant tablescapes, preferred to hang out by the tree with their nannies. At least they'll always have the memories. (Oh, wait…)

Credit: bravotv.com

Credit: bravotv.com

Lisa (obviously not knowing her hostess was calling her selfish behind her back) and Adrienne were the only two Housewives who could attend. Camille was on vacation in Hawaii, taking a load off from aaaaall the work she has to do while Kelsey's gone. She acknowledged in an interview that she knows the other women are super busy too and have a million things going on in their lives, “but it seems like I just have that 30% more!” she said. Because having your House Manager plan your tropical vacation is so hard!

The Richards sisters were unfortunately not able to make it either, since Kyle's 2-year-old Portia was having a birthday party that day as well. Kyle spent a far less egregious $12,000 on the party, and somehow managed to work an alpaca and a choo-choo train into the mix. (More fun than a tree? We think maybe.)

Still, it got us thinking, if these women had combined forces, what other ways (besides using their kids as a front to show off their wealth) could they have spent the $72,000?

– They could have purchased 14.4 Gift Arks.

– They could have built an entire Habitat for Humanity house in Orange or Avery County, NC.

– They could have funded Clay Walker's Charity Classic.

– They could have had a steak lunch with Warren Buffett.

– They could have tweeted Hugh Jackman for ideas.

– They could have paid of LA Weekly staffer Clint's student loans.

What would you spend $72,000 on? Let us know in the comments.

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