In Partnership with Two Comma PR
It’s fair to say Grand Cam has had quite the journey with women. Building up to where he finds himself today—as the CEO and founder of dating consultancy The Grand Male and a masculinity-focused life coach—he’s learned that if a relationship comes easily, it’s probably not the right one. And if relationships aren’t coming at all, you’re probably not living up to your potential when it’s time to talk. Sorry, but your chat might need some work.
“When a man is a natural conversationalist, he’s naturally in tune with who he is, knows what he wants and how to represent himself,” Cam said. “He limits the impact of insecurities on his life, and the flow of his conversations becomes more natural. He feels more positive and abundant because he’s not concerned with the opinions of others.”
If you consider yourself shy, becoming a natural conversationalist isn’t out of reach for you. Grand Cam was once a victim of self-doubt, which led to desperate bids for attention and unreciprocated interactions with women. The dating coach has now concluded that the answer is coaching and shared what men might expect if they decide to transform the way they think about relationships:
Securing insecurity
Cam hinted at it earlier, but for most guys, insecurity is the root cause of dwindling success with women. Many don’t realize that the subject is more complicated than thinking your haircut could use some work or hopelessly searching Google for dating advice. It’s deep and layered to the point you may not have even known you were insecure.
“The three kinds of insecurities holding men back from being natural conversationalists are seeking validation, seeking approval, and people-pleasing,” Cam explained. “They can cause you to be inauthentic due to constantly concerning yourself with how you are perceived. A good conversationalist is naturally in tune with who he is.”
If you’re still unsure of whether this applies to you, let’s illustrate. Seeking validation could include needing a woman to agree with your worldview, seeking approval is being fearful of how women might react to you, and people-pleasing is changing your behavior in response to those tendencies. As a life and dating coach, Grand Cam advocates for men to squash their insecurities by being more sure of their goals and ideals.
Making it mental
Forget insecurity for a second. Suppose you’re conversing with a potential partner and have no interest in what they’re saying. In that case, you won’t keep their attention for a minute, let alone an entire relationship. The Grand Male helps men understand why a woman might have particular passions to form more meaningful connections in one conversation.
“A lot of times when guys are scared to talk to women, they are looking at their beauty as their main source of value,” Cam stated. “That’s the wrong way to approach or perceive a woman. They are more than just their appearance.”
A significant part of The Grand Male process is listening to women empathetically and making them feel heard. It provides a valuable alternative to people-pleasing; instead of changing your values solely to appease a woman, why not understand why she thinks and feels that way?
Fashioning fun
It’s official. We’re all guilty of letting fun go out of fashion. How did we get here? Through countless men walking up to bars and presuming they can whisk a woman away by talking about themselves and dishing out a few unwarranted compliments along the way.
Fun isn’t necessarily about suggesting mini golf as a date idea or telling so many jokes you forget you’re supposed to be making a meaningful connection. Grand Cam’s ethos is about men finding value in themselves. That allows them to have more fun because they’re thinking less about who they will end the night with and more about the good conversations they might have.
“Smile, make other people smile, and share how your days went,” Cam said. “That’s how you become a conversationalist. You’ll have this glow and energy about you that is inviting. And then when you see a woman you want to be romantically involved with, you won’t be so focused on the outcome that you forget to have fun.”
In essence, Cam wants his clients to have fewer expectations for others and more for themselves. The Grand Male is about setting boundaries, building confidence, and improving communication skills so, the next time a man walks into a room, he knows his worth. It also promotes a healthier dating world, where women are valued, and men don’t waste their time pretending to be someone they’re not.
While you may not have signed up for the program yet, you can start laying the groundwork right away. Grand Cam’s salient advice is to talk about pets, travel, movies, food, and fun with women while on dates. You’d be surprised at the layers you can peel back from those topics alone. And hopefully, you’re having fun now too.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.