Jeff Weiss10. The ability to acquire flaming pennies (these were also reportedly Shaquille O' Neal's last words upon leaving Orlando). Such magic coins will give their owners the ability to turn homeless people into suave and dapper, ladies men and thus realize their dreams of using P.I.M.P.O.L.O.G.Y. to logically, learn these tricks biology. Obviously.
9. When in doubt, just ask yourself, “how would Bone Thugs rap it?” If that fails, just get Twista.
8. A rooftop pool is a must. The promise of such aquatic delight will ensnare all video vixens from the Southside of the Chi to Joliet. However, for safety purposes, a life guard must be present at all all times. Do or die.
7. Khaki suits with shorts, no shirt, no problem.
6 . The willingness to spend dozens of hours a week doing nothing but riding in the backseat of a Caddy and chopping it up with Do or Die. Other responsibilities may include buying 40s, carrying weed and trips to the mall to buy Girbaud.
Marithe Francois Girbaud: Willing To Ride in the Backseat of a Caddy Choppin' It Up With Do or Die
5. As the homeless man's sign can attest, the tenets of pimpology state the importance of being “a player” instead of being “a player hater.” While such notions may elementary in the aftermath of the 1998 Edict of Nann, Do or Die's '96 release date makes them groundbreaking pioneers in the field of ripping off Too Short.
4. Only sipping on Seagrams while chewing on wheat stems. Acceptable substitutes may include wheat thins, wheat germ, and Walt Whitman (no Homer).
3 . Lax sexual standards that lead you to bed a vagrant transformed into a seductress by the work of magic coins, a reality so fantastic that you are willing to ignore the extremely STD rates among the homeless.
Walt Whitman: Not From Houston But He Rapped A Lot
2. Taking every lyric from your breakout single and using them as titles on your second album, Headz or Tailz , including “Pimpology,” “Still Po Pimpin,” “Choppin up That Paper,” and “Gangsta Shit,” which was presumably about Do or Die member, AK-47's bowel problems, and thus the inspiration for Camron's seminal, “I.B.S.”
1. The underpinnings of Do or Die's philosophy ultimately rest with Twista and his illustration of the yawning chasm between player and pimp: “If a ho wants to holler then you a playa' if you hit them ends and get the dividends….but you a pimp, if you can get the same ho to want to freak your friends.” Logically.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.