Brian McManusUpdate: Turns out that, as we all suspected, Nicki Minaj is not a Romney supporter.
Earlier this week Nicki Minaj stepped in a fresh pile of political shit when she, in an attempt to stir the pot on a “Mercy” freestyle remix, rapped that she is voting for Mitt Romney. People stupid enough to take Minaj seriously were outraged, and some even sent her death threats over Twitter. Which got us thinking: hip-hop is such a Republican genre of music, what with its rampant homophobia, overblown egos and materialism. So we put the ole iPod on shuffle and jotted down the first 10 rap lyrics we heard that are more Republican than Minaj's phony declaration of Romney loyalty.
10. Rick Ross, “Live Fast, Die Young”
“Look at Haiti children dyin' 'round the clock, nigga/ I'd send a hundred grand, but that's a decent watch, nigga”
Republicans often argue that taxing the rich to fund programs that benefit the poor is nothing more than social engineering, and that, left to spend their money as they see fit, they'd be more inclined to donate to charity. Maybe. But our guess is they'd just spend the extra cash on themselves, like Rick Ross does in this cold-ass line from “Live Fast.”
9. Eminem, “Criminal”
Whether you're a fag or lez, or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-vest/ Pants or dress, hate fags? The answer's yes.
Yes, we still have Eminem on our iPod. Wanna fight about it?
8. Wu Tang Clan, “C.R.E.A.M.”
I don't know why I chose to smoke sess/ I guess that's the time when I'm not depressed
You could argue that “cash rules everything” around the Republican party, and that Wu's “C.R.E.A.M.” is the party's unofficial theme. But this line in particular reminds us of defacto party leader and drug abuser Rush Limbaugh.
7. Kanye West, “Jesus Walks”
The entire song
Republicans are religious fanatics.
6. Kanye West, “Can't Tell Me Nothin'”
The entire song
West's “Can't Tell Me Nothin'” is basically the Republican equivalent of “Never apologize for America.”
5. Melle Mel on “The Message”
It's all about the money/ Ain't a damn thing funny
To Republicans, it's all about the money. Ain't a damn thing funny.
4. 50 Cent, “I Get Money”
The entire song
Are you getting that we think Republicans only care about money?
3. Bun B, “In Money We Trust”; Paul Wall and Chamillionaire, “Still In Luv Wit' My Money”; Notorious BIG, “Gimme the Loot”; Ol Dirty Bastard, “Got Cha Money”; Chippy Nonstop, “Money Dance:; Lil Scrappy, “Money In the Bank”; Swizz Beats, “Money In the Bank”; 50 Cent, “Money In the Bank”
All these
How about now?
2. Gucci Mane, “24 Hours”
Money and the power/ Stunting on the hoes and I'm shitting on the cowards
Gucci explains the entire Republican platform right here.
1. Jay-Z, “Super Ugly
I got myself a gun/ Brooklyn, stand up/ I got myself a gun
Even sniff around the issue of gun rights and the NRA and their Republican stooges are quick to jam the Second Amendment up your ass. (See also: Nas, “Got Yourself a Gun”)
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