Taco Bell Introduces Mountain Dew Cocktail + The Death of Mixology

After surviving the Doritos Taco Loco and the Beefy Nacho Burrito — billed as a plate of chili cheese nachos rolled into a flour tortilla — we figured that the indigestion engineers at Taco Bell would have a hard time outdoing themselves. It turns out we were very, very wrong.

Taco Bell recently introduced its newest breakfast item, a mimosa-esque cocktail of orange juice and Mountain Dew called MTN DEW A.M. We imagine it was created to please the eager niche of go-getters who think that pre-11 a.m. is too early for a pure dose of Mountain Dew but are content with cutting their caffeine-loaded beverage with a splash of nutritious O.J. Heck, you can just add booze and you've pretty much created a poor man's Four Loko.

Ah, but only if Taco Bell would leave it at that. Most egregious of all, they're branding the beverage as “mixology,” a word that quickly has become as ubiquitous and bastardized as “artisan” or “all-natural.” To quote the great Iñigo Montoya, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” If this can be called mixology, clearly the time we spent making soda “suicides” in grade school is equivalent to a bartending academy.

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