Barbie DavenporteThe Center for Disease Control recently released the results of a 2006-2008 study that collected and compiled results of a survey designed to delve into the sexual behaviors, attractions and identities of modern American men and women.
Most fascinating was the apparent growth in popularity of good old fashioned butt sex. Of the 13,495 people aged 15-44 surveyed, 44 percent of straight men and 39 percent of straight women confirmed they'd had anal intercourse at least once in their lifetimes.
Compared to the CDC's 2002 survey, it appears a bit more people are trying butt sex (or at least admitting to it) and though it's not clear to what cultural aspects to attribute the jump (porn? mainstream media? curiosity? boredom?) it's most certainly apparent that people's awareness of how to enjoy the act has yet to catch on.
Butt sex, as we'll continue to maturely refer to it, is taboo enough to make it naughty but casual enough for teenagers to test out when concerned about preserving vaginal “virginity.”
Yet butt sex carries a negative, unappealing connotation due to misinformation and fear of the unknown. Butt but on the contrary, anal intercourse isn't the precarious, nerve-wracking, painful sex act with which many straight women associate it — when you do it right.
Some of us, whether or not we admit or realize it, have had our sex educations influenced by pornography. When there are limited resources at our disposal, it's logical to turn to this visual form of sexual stimulation to see how things work, where things go, and what we might expect to hear/see when we do it.
But when it comes to butt sex, there are more pieces to the puzzle than make the final cut — preparation, expectation, LUBE — and unfortunately without them the anal experience can be bummed out.
Preparation. What those porn films don't show you are the performers hanging out on set with butt plugs inserted, keeping their sphincters stretched and malleable.
Just as one warms up a car before cruising at high speed, we must give our orifices a heads-up before sticking something stiff in there. And it's not just the recipient's responsibility.
Remember foreplay? Pay some attention to the backdoor region with some light touching and slight finger insertion to get the muscles used to the idea of opening up. But keep this very important bit advice in mind – whatever happens in or near the butt-hole must stay in or near the butt-hole.
There's myriad bacteria that no amount of scrubbing can get rid of, and if it enters the precious vaginal ecosystem all kinds of icky infections can result. Either wash your hand/sex toy between orifices or protect yourself using latex gloves or condoms that can easily be tossed aside when the anal warm-up is complete.
Learn more about why ass-to-vagina contact is a no-no.
Your best bet for getting in the mood and staying chill? Have a good, solid orgasm before anything anal happens. Whether with a sex toy or some manual or oral stimulation from your partner, a full-body orgasm will put the mind and body at ease and the recipient in an instant state of ecstasy.
Enter with caution!
Expectation. Putting it in your butt isn't going to feel the same as a vagina, which for dudes is a bonus. But for the receiving end the sensation can often be less than pleasant when you're still getting used to the experience.
If we had to describe it simply — and frankly — inserting something into your anus can more than closely resemble that of performing a natural bodily function. Gross? Yup. But only if you let it be.
Staying relaxed and simultaneously stimulating other pleasure zones (ahem, clitoris) will help maintain a stretchy sphincter, and what first felt way too tight to enjoy should turn into a more enjoyable experience in mere minutes.
Communication is key: It helps to hear how good you feel, how sexy your body looks, and how hard you're going to make him come. That means positive reinforcement from your partner, and talking beforehand is the best way to share needs, desires and (if you're comfortable enough) nerves prior to engaging in the backdoor deed.
Lubrication. The vagina is a naturally lubricating sex organ, becoming soaking, sopping wet with even the mere mention of fornication. But even then, additional lubrication via silicone- or water-based lube is often necessary to assure prolonged activity remains pleasurable.
The anus, however, has no natural ability to lubricate itself. No matter how hot and bothered you are, the butt will remain as bone dry as it felt when you woke up that morning.
Regardless of how huge or tiny the entering penis might be, the anus is going to be a tight squeeze so make sure you squirt a hefty dollop of lube — saliva and the stuff from your vag also can work — before you move in for the kill. Even if it's “just the tip.”
Because the skin in and around the anus is some of the most sensitive and fragile on your entire body and even the slightest bit of friction can cause cuts, lesions and abrasions. Not only can that be painful and unpleasant, it makes it especially easy to transmit sexually transmitted infections that nobody wants where the sun don't shine.
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