Artemis Thomas-HansardEvery year, we travel out to the desert to capture the stories that make the Coachella experience so unique and infamous. Sometimes these tales are touching; other times, frustrating; but without a doubt, the crowd at Coachella is always hilarious.
Here are 25 of the strangest, funniest, most memorable things we heard out on the Polo Fields this weekend.
25. #goals
“These sunglasses make me look like a coke dealer in the '70s.”
“It's a good look for you.”
24. He's always there in spirit
“Maybe if we put all of our energy together we can conjure a Lil Jon appearance.”
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23. You and everyone else, bro
“I got a flash tattoo on my dick, bro.”
22. My kind of pedicab
“That guy has been bumping Eminem all day. I respect that.”
21. This guy clearly has some trust issues with Coachella.
“The mountains don't even look real. It's like the Tupac hologram all over again.”
20. The rapper we all hate to love
“The thing about G-Eazy is he's so whack but he's so dope.”
“G-Eazy was dope, and I'm kind of embarrassed to say that.”
19. We get it, you vape
“Is that a vape?”
“Everything's a vape.”
We forgot to write down what they were saying, but we're pretty sure it was something like, “AAAAAHHHH!!”; Credit: Photo by Shane Lopes
18. Who put Warren G in the Heineken House?
“You can't regulate the Regulator!”
17. And by everybody, Ice Cube meant everybody.
“For everybody that likes to fuck, put your hands up!”
16. Mad smuggling skills
“We snuck in nuts!” —super-cute grandma
15. Accurate description of Grimes' set
“It's just a girly party up there.”
14. We really have no idea what was going on here.
“It's not my fault you have a small-ass clit, bitch!”
“Fuck you for your oversized clit.”
13. Boyfriend, picking at his girlfriend's chapped lips
“Damn. That's a deep dead skin!”
Will the world ever know?; Credit: Photo by Artemis Thomas-Hansard
12. Speaking of being dried the fuck out
“Fuck, my whole body is chafing.”
11. I don't think that term is gonna catch on.
“I will remember this performance five-ever.”
10. Um, OK
“There's nothing better than a corgi butt.”
9. Do you? Do you really?
“I feel like I'm in a concentration camp right now.”
8. It's Coachella, better start believing
“I can't believe I saw a titty.”
7. Is this a complaint, or … ?
“It's just full of side-boob.”
6. I mean, it's true.
“I mean, when you think about it, Skrillex is really just Sonny Moore.”
What-eth the fuck-eth, indeed-eth; Credit: Photo by Shane Lopes
5. This guy trying to speak with an Old English accent for the whole festival
“What-eth the fuck-eth is going on-eth.”
4. Everyone paid their own little tribute to Prince.
“Purple Drank, Purple Drank …”
3. Wait, what year is it again?
“AC/DC!”
“That's Guns N' Roses, dickhead.”
2. Young woman, running through the crowd at Guns N' Roses
“WHERE ARE ALL THE DADS?”
1. It's not just you.
“Is it just me or does Axl Rose kind of look like that character from Leprechaun?”
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