Ian and Alicia DenchasyIt's been a while since we last appeared in LA Weekly's After Dark LA blog. Many of you probably don't know that we began this column more than five years ago in the print edition of the LA Weekly.
Alas, cyber memories are fleeting and our decidedly down-tempo take on sexuality within the confines of a monogamous, long-term marriage seem almost, well, quaint given the sensational and provocative content now flooding sex blogs, social networking sites, mobile apps, and web presences across the ever faster digital pipelines.
Texting and smart phones are now the chosen communication medium and devices of choice, respectively, and as parents we find ourselves more and more becoming the lecturing kind rather the hip and informed these days.
“Back in OUR day, we walked 20 miles through the snow and didn't have no newfangled Internets,” so to speak. Sigh.
And though we only clock in at 45 and 47 years old, respectively, we have observed some disturbing trends in our short stints on this planet, specifically in the SoCal metropolis (and U.S., in general).
One inescapable fact is that the divorce rate has remained constant, even increased slightly, since rocketing up in the mid-70's. Despite the fact that we've had markedly conservative leadership since the liberal heyday of the hippie generation, the percentage of marriages fulfilling the “Til death do us part,” thing is firmly under 50 percent.
Of the remainder, one can only guess as to how many qualify as “happily” in their ever after. Like our consumerist evolution from quality, well-made products toward cheap, throw-away goods spit out by China and other third-world countries to be sold at Walmart, we now seem to view relationships in the same way.
Find a new partner, use until no longer shiny, throw away. Repeat. Lawnmower won't start? Get rid of it. Sex not as good as it was in the beginning? Dump the person and find another one. Marriage experiencing difficulties? Divorce and move on.
Why fix the tire when you can just get a whole new bike?
Call us old-fashioned, but one constant does still carry forward in our own lives, even if our ability to keep pace with the technological, throw-away society does not: we still enjoy a healthy relationship, more specifically a healthy sexual relationship after 23 years together.
Indeed, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past April in grand style, pulling out all our implements of orgasmic destruction (read: sex toys) and engaging in shenanigans of all sorts in a Las Vegas hotel room. We were lucky enough to score a room at the Tropicana with mirrored ceilings – definitely a plus even at our ages – and we amped up the volume of our love making to purposely be heard by every room above, below, and down the hallway and back.
Quite the fun was had and our only disappointment was not accidentally running into a neighbor with whom to exchange an uncomfortable glance. We're still twisted that way, thank goodness, even if it does drive the editor of this website a little batty (we're old enough to be her parents and love getting under her skin).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Noted. Confirmed.]
To re-introduce ourselves and refresh the memories of those who haven't seen our columns in a while, we are known as Freddy and Eddy, aka Ian and Alicia Denchasy, owners of a couples-focused, female-friendly sexuality website dedicated to improving intimacy and helping relationships of all orientations.
We provide sex toy/adult video reviews, how-to articles, podcasts and all manners of information geared toward helping foster healthy sex lives, which we believe are vital to sustaining long-term stability and contentment. We also run discussion boards and maintain a presence on Facebook, with our Twitter feed rounding things out in the technology arena (we're not total Luddites, it turns out, just cynical).
Here at After Dark LA, we'll specifically be providing tips and tricks mainly for couples, with reviews of products, sexual advice and ways to keep things spicy and fun (with a hint of seriousness thrown in now and again for good measure). If it works for us, you'll most likely hear about it in these posts.
It's summer: shed your clothes and your inhibitions.
With summer now upon us, we will be turning our attention to decidedly outdoor activities, with BBQs occupying our weekends and outings to the beach becoming almost daily occurrences. Friends, whom we haven't seen in months, will reappear and shorts and dresses will replace jeans and sweats from our cooler months, and this newly exposed flesh will turn L.A. into the world's sexiest playground for those of us lucky enough to live within her boundaries.
We've already stashed our blankets away, started shopping for new sexy garments, begun figuring out places to sneak in some quick public interludes, and mapped out strategies for clearing our home of our ever nosier 12-year-old son, who seems to find a way to thwart our romantic encounters with his later sleep times.
His curiously long showers mean it's time to be more diligent regarding our collection of porn and we now keep our sex toy cache safely locked away from his curious journeys through our home and our office is now off limits to him and his friends.
Exciting, yet scary at the same time, we are preparing for his teen years and all the challenges it will bring, sexually and otherwise.
Ah yes, it's good to be back.
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