Barbie DavenporteThe folks who brought us sex in a can have come out with a series of…let's say abby-normal sex toys to appease our inner mutant.
Fleshlight has released the Fleshlight Freaks collection, a line of dildos and male masturbation devices in five different monster-esque designs – the machine-made Cyborg, the blood-sucking Drac, the stitched-up monster Frank, the out-of-this-world Alien, and the flesh-rotting Zombie
Now I dunno about you, but if we had a dick we most certainly would want to shove it into one of these orifices. Especially the one that looks like there are open wounds and sores waiting to make contact with our delicate penile flesh.
Ew.
Don't know what a Fleshlight is? It's basically a soft fleshy cylinder that's encased in a plastic container shaped to look like a flashlight. This casing is removable so you can clean all of your gunk off when you're done and also acts as an air-tight seal, so when you do stick your member into the opening you end up feeling a suction sensation each time you pull out.
I imagine that feels good. Men have said they swear by it. Some prefer it to regular sex (seriously, it's been written down) but that's probably because they haven't been laid lately and/or their significant others were born without vaginas and a-holes.
Choose your favorite Freak – just in time for Halloween! Cuz what else are you gonna do while you wait for kids to come grab the last of your Snickers bars?
Cyborg
Alien
Drac
Frank
Zombie
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